Dear OTM,

There is a close relative in my life who is constantly downing my life. Downs my job, downs my marriage life, downs my teen sons Academic performances in school, pretty much anything you can think of they put me down. They do it in a matter of fact way, like they know what’s best for me but I just want the comments on my life to stop. They are someone who I frequently see so I Am hesitant to come out and say SHUT UP , So nothing will be awkward.

Dear Keira,

This person is the one who is unhappy and possibly jealous or they wouldn’t make such an effort to degrade you.
Keira, people can only be speak to you and treat you the way you allow them to, so now is time to stop allowing this behavior. That does not mean you have to get ugly, disrespectful, cruel or nasty you simply have to nip it in the bud as soon as the behavior begins.
Maybe saying something as simple as “thank you for your opinions but I am quite happy with my_________. If they continue again say ” I am very happy with how ____ or _____ is going and I’d appreciate you keeping your negative comments to yourself” maybe thats all it takes to shut the person down. There is a chance that you have been ignoring their behavior for so long they don’t realize that it bothers you. If that doesn’t stop them and the becomes overbearing or continues, change the subject, leave the room or excuse yourself and leave. People can’t berate you when you are not there.
Regardless of whether you see this person frequently or not, no one has the right to needle you.
Again try to keep it quick and simple be pleasant but direct and shut it down. If for some reason that doesn’t work, walk, you don’t have to listen to anyone’s negatively.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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