I’m 35 and single. All of my long time friends are married with children, some are even on second marriages already and I can’t seem to find the right man. I am educated and hard working, fun loving, family oriented, but every man I find turns into just a fling. I can’t seem to keep anyone around long enough to get to know the real me and it is wearing on me. I am tired of being the third wheel and want to find a man who will commit, are my expectations too high? Or did I just miss the “good guy” ship?

Dear Cindy,

I think you are “looking for love in all the wrong places”. It is interesting that once we set a pattern or a “type” for who and what we think we are attracted to, we miss out on those who are right under our noses. I know a young women who is smart, extremely pretty, in great shape and just a genuine as you can be however she has one large problem, she dates jerks. She is always attracted to the tall, charming, ultra handsome, in vogue guy, who ends up being so full of himself he cheats, lies, constantly looks at other women and thinks he is the end all. Every time she attaches herself to one of these narcissistic nuts it is just a matter of time, usually a year or two, before he dumps her for the next best thing and she is devastated yet again.
Cindy, break the pattern. Take some time to think about all the guys you have dated and the ‘type” you are attracted to. Write down their names, traits, characteristics and features. Is there a pattern? If so, break the curse.
Try dating a guy whose personality you may really like as a friend, but may not be attracted to as a lover.
I think maybe you have been so stuck on the handsome hamster wheel you’ve overlooked your Prince Charming.
I don’t think for one minute your expectations are too high or the “good guy” ship has sailed but I do think may YOU are missing the boat, so it is time to change your course.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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