I’m going to start out with a confession. When I was 14 a boy forced me into having sex. I never told anyone because it was kind of my fault by making him think I wanted to. It’s now 3 years later and I’ve been in a relationship for awhile with a great guy. There is something wrong with me because when we try to be intimate I start loosing breath and have trouble breathing. I feel attacked even though I’m not being attacked. I think it might root back to what happened when I was 14. I still haven’t told anyone, not even my boyfriend or parents and it’s to late to say what happened to me or who did it to me but I somehow need to get over it. What should I do .

Dear Kristen,

Please, please tell your Mother, a trusted family member or your doctor. You sound as though you are having panic or anxiety attacks and yes. it probably does happen as a result of that incident. Kristen, you DO NOT have to tell anyone who it was that forced you if you don’t want to, but you do need to tell someone what happened. Whether you know this or not that incident has been lying in wait to surface and now it must be released. You must talk to someone to free yourself so you can move on.
Honey, we have all made bad choices in our lives that we feel we are partially to blame for, you are not alone. However Kristen, you are older now and more mature so you must realize now that NO ONE had the right to force you to do anything against your will.
Speak to someone and get this off of your back so you can begin to heal and move forward in your life.
What happened, happened and it can’t be changed but it can be minimized. It happened at a time when you were young and immature and you are allowing it to haunt and control you. You must forgive yourself and let it go.
Please talk to someone, please. This secret is to heavy to carry by yourself.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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