Dear OTM,

I am a new Mommy to my daughter Sophie. She is a precious 3 weeks old.My husband is a marine and his current Job will keep him away for six months. I have been doing this alone and I am feeling drained and so so tired. My mother wants me to move back home with her and Dad while my husband is away so that she can help me out. It sounds nice but that would mean I would have to move an 8 hour drive back home. I know i wouldnt do it alone, i’d have lots of help with the move but isn’t this what parenthood is about? Dealing with the struggles and figuring them out on my own. Yes moving back for help sounds amazing but I don’t want to feel like I am a failure and can not handle it alone. I’d probably be the only new mother who would need the help. I should probably just refuse the offer? I want to be One tough Muther!

Dear Marcia,

Oh Doll, the fact that you wrote shows you are a Tough Muther and a good one. I did it with 4 kids, alone one kid after another. I lived in different states and different countries and it was hard. When you are a new Mother trying and figure out everything on your own, it can be overwhelming and exhausting however, I understand your apprehension. So let’s say you compromise. Since the first three months are unusually the hardest, trying to get the baby on a schedule and routine, sleeping and getting yourself use to a new baby, why don’t you split the time at your folks. Go home with the intention of only staying a month or so, like a mini vacation. That way you can get some rest and experience with the help of your parents and see how you feel about being there. If it is working and you enjoy the help, stay longer, if you feel like there is too much interference, your confident and not so exhausted plus you miss your home, go back.
No one is saying you have to stay the entire 6 months. The help is there and it can be a wonderful thing plus I’m very sure your parents would love to be part of your new beautiful daughter’s world. Give it a try you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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