One tough muther,

I have always been a heavy girl and it has never bothered me. When I married my husband I was large but I was also very happy with myself and my loved me. Lately I decided to take my health seriously and start a dedicated diet. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes by my doctor and put on a diet and I have lost 20 pounds so far but I have much further to go. Weirdly my husband seems like a miserable grump ever since I starting loosing weight and started my diet. He will come home with fast food and eat it in front of me and say how good it tastes, knowing my struggles with food I feel this is weird. My husband is a thinner man so he could always eat this way and it wouldn’t affect him.One night I wasn’t feeling very well so I sent my husband to the store for supplies. He came home with 6 bags of candy. One thing we have never bought was candy. He came through the door and told me look what he bought for me. For me? I can’t have that, and he knows it. when I work out with my trainer and feel proud of myself I’ll say to my husband I walked 3 miles today or whatever I did that day and he will say that I should stop walking. He tells me to cut out this non sense of diet and exercise and embrace the real me..This makes me angry, sad, frustrated. I finally feel like I am peeling back the layers and finding ME. I don’t understand my husbands behavior, it is confusing and if he doesn’t stop his antics I feel our relationship will fail. I need encouragement!! Why is getting healthy causing me to loose my husband? And what should I do about it because I’m afraid he will pull me back into old habits after all my progress..

Dear Danielle,

First let me say, wonderful, good for you girl. It is very difficult to fight such a tough battle but doing it alone with out the support of your husband is like running up hill backwards on ice.
Your husband appears to have security issues and if he doesn’t come to terms and get over them his fears will come true. What he is doing is ridiculous, immature, mean and destructive to your hard work and the way you look at him. TELL HIM!
Tell him that he is not only hurting you by making your efforts much harder but that he is also hurting the way you look at him as a husband. A husband and a wife should support one another, love and encourage the other, not do everything in their power to trip their spouse up.

Getting is shape and rebuilding your health is not only for your self esteem but it has become a medical a must. If he doesn’t see that and start acting the way a mature loving husband should, soon he may just be standing on the outside looking in. He appears to be insecure and immature. He may be worried about losing you once you find yourself again. Address these things with him, if you haven’t already and don’t beat around the bush. Be straight and tell him you feel sabotaged, hurt and angry and if he doesn’t stop he will be hurting your marriage and the way you think of him.

Good luck Danielle and please keep up the good work. I know how hard it is to control bad habits and not fall back into the pit. I have struggled with my weight as well. You are doing what you must to be healthy as well as look and feel great. I am very proud of you, you ROCK.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

Share This