Dear One tough Muther,
My best friend is Muslim. We have been friends since we were 15 years old and we are now both 30 years old with kids and husbands. Her religion has never been an issue up until recently. My kids are starting to feel uncomfortable around them. Her 10 year old daughter is wearing the scarf over her head when out in public like her mother/my best friend has started in past years. They talk a lot about their religion and how war is wrong and how military is wrong and so on. It angers me so much because I have military family and even my brother is a marine. They tell me how i should attend a church and really push me about it. In their religion drinking and gambling is a sin and sometimes I slip about how I drank with friends or what not and I get a speech. Their religion they also believe that women should make every single thing for meals from scratch and once they were over my home and I put a frozen pizza in for the kids and it was like ohhhhh Rebecca , really??? frozen???..Like i just committed a crime. I love her to death but as we are aging and she is getting closer in her way of life I am noticing a lot of bothersome differences. And i am finding myself drifting from her. Her husband is saying I am not a true friend ( jerk). Do you think their is a way to keep the friendship even though we have all these differences. What would you suggest I do? I was thinking maybe telling her that I would rather not talk about religion or military when with her. Like i said we are pretty close, it’s been a long friendship and I know she wouldnt be angry with anything i said, or do friendships like this have an expiration date?
This is a very tough, touchy situation. The tough part is not that she is of a different religion, the tough part is she is forcing her opinions on you.
She has been your best friend for years you say, so she knows you, your view and that you are from a military family. Do you push your religious views on her? I hate to say this but sometimes we out grow one another. Work, family, life all become so demanding and take over our lives. On top of that religion and politics are two things I refuse to discuss with anyone because the conversations are never equal.
Yes, ask her to please stop talking about religion. Tell her you accept and completely respect that she is Muslim which is wonderful for her, however you are not and feel like that is the only conversation you have two have anymore. If she is your friend she will honor and respect your opinion and steer clear of the subject. If she doesn’t and continues to draw you in to religious banter, then it may be time to let the relationship expire.
Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther