I gave a friend a few hundred dollars, without expecting it to be given back when she got money, because she really has been struggling paying her bills and she has a child so I wanted to help her out. A week after I gave her the money though she was sporting a whole new hair due. Cut , color & highlights. Now, I am a regular at the salon so I know a total make over like that can cost a pretty penny. I asked my friend if she was able to pay off the bill and she told me yes. But, I am thinking that I probably gave her money to get her hair done!! I want to say to her either A.) I’m glad you got the bill payed but why could you not afford the bill yet can afford a make over? or B.) Did I give you money for your hair? What do I do?

Dear Faith,

All I can say is…BEEN THERE! A few years ago a woman in my office was separating from her husband and had nothing. All the girls and most of the guys felt really bad for her so they took up a collection to help her by the things she would need to get started. On top of the sizable collect almost everyone bought in gifts, some used from their homes but most new of furniture, appliances and household items. Well, the following week the woman came in sporting a completely new doo and a weeks worth of new clothes, coach purse included.
Everyone in the office, me included was shocked and completely speechless. She drew us a picture of desperation and despair that each of us fell for.
What did we do?
Nothing, we grumbled, moaned and groaned but did nothing other than that. Why? Because she never asked us to borrow money, in fact she never asked us for anything, so what we gave her was a gift. When you give someone a gift they are entitled to use the gift anyway they desire unless you put stipulations on the gift and who does that? So we kept our mouths shut.
Faith, unless your friend asked for the money and said she’ somehow pay you back or you put use stipulations on the money, right or wrong she can use the money/gift you gave her any way she chooses. You can say something but doing so is not going to change anything more than your friendship.
So like me all I can say is lesson learned.
Faith giving your friend money when she was in need, was a wonderful thing. Like you said, you did not expect to get the money back and you are a good friend keep that thought in mind.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One tough Muther

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