Ever since I started dating in high school, my mom has always been inappropriate and flirtatious with my boyfriends. Her and my dad got a divorce when I was 16 and since then she has been seeking out male attention wherever she can get it. She has changed her hair and clothes to try to look younger and goes out all of the time. I thought maybe she was just going through something but lately she has been getting a little too flirty and close to my current boyfriend of 6 months and it is making both him and I uncomfortable. Her actions are changing the way I feel about her, I am losing my respect for her as my mom. How do I tell her that she has crossed the line without destroying what relationship we have left?

Dear Rachael,

You hit the nail on the head, your Mom is “looking for love in all the wrong places.”
Of course I don’t know the details of your parents divorce however, I am curious if maybe your father had an affair. Your Mother is acting like she may have low self-esteem or damaged self-image issues. You state that she attempts to look younger, changed her hair, her style of clothing and has become uncomfortably flirtatious with your boyfriend. Whoah there Mama,
time for a reality check!
Rachael, it’s time to sit your Mother down and have a heart to heart. I know you are upset and you have every reason to be, but try very hard to stay calm and don’t attack her. Explain that you know she is probably lonely and trying to get “back out there” which can be very hard and discouraging. However practicing on your boyfriends is definitely the wrong way to go about getting started. Explain to her that you are very uncomfortable with her flirtatious advances towards your boyfriends and she is making your boyfriend feel uncomfortable as well. Talk to her about joining a dating site or a gym where she will be able to meet men closer to her own age.
If that doesn’t work and she gets defensive then maybe a close friend of hers or a sister if she has one can help by talking to her.
But I really think that if you are calm and sincerely show how concerned you are about her, she will understand your feelings and back off. I also don’t think it will drive a wedge any deeper in your relationship telling her how you feel should help her in the long run.

Good Luck Rachael & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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