My husband and I have always struggled financially. But just suddenly my husband found a better job with room for growth and things have been looking up. In fact things suddenly for the first time we’re good. We are financially set with cash to play with. At first it was good my husband worked 8-5 was home for dinner but was making the extra money. Now he is starting to pick up more hours at work and sometimes won’t get home until 10:30/11. It’s not necessary for him to work those extra hours because we were already making more than enough money. I told him I miss him and to just work the 8-5 and he says that he doesn’t want to fall behind again. He’s consumed with work and it’s all he talks about or on weekends he’s on phone calls about work. If this wasn’t bad enough he says there is work on the weekends now that he wants to take advantage of. What the hell, that’s our family time. We are parents of four kids who don’t see their dad much. What’s my husband thinking??

Dear Melanie,

I wish I knew exactly what your husband is thinking but I unfortunately I can only guess.
Maybe your husband feels accomplished for the first time in his working life and is striving to do better for his family.
Maybe your husband is proud that now you can breath a little easier and also proud that he can comfortably provide for his family.
Maybe your husband is enjoying the new found opportunities and the excitement has propelled into a strong to work mode.
Maybe your husband is a bit off the mark here and has forgotten that no one every wished they worked another 10 minutes or another day when their time comes to an end. I don’t have statistics but I’d bet most everyone wishes they had the time back they lost, with the people they love most.
So with that thought I will repeat my usual mantra.
“Sit down and talk” to your husband. Ask him what his game plan is and how he feels. After you hear his thoughts, explain to him that you miss him as well as the children miss and need their father.
Life goes by so quickly and no one knows what the next day will hold. Love and appreciate each other when you can, work together, compromise and come up with a lifestyle that works for everyone.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough muther

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