OTM,

My cousin Beta is in a really bad marriage. Her husband controls her life by forcing her to stay home all day and not work. She is cut off from family, we can’t even call her because most of our numbers are blocked. My number was just recently blocked from calling. If we show up to her home she becomes nervous that we are even there and keeps repeating that Keith would not like this at all. She sometimes will just crack the front door open and tell us it’s not a good time.The list goes on. Her whole appearance has has changed as well. Even though she is well dressed and groomed now she looks as though she’s aged 20 years. She has never taken our advice to leave him so what can we do to help her? She needs to be saved.

Dear Mary,

I am so sorry, Beta sounds as though she is in prisoner in her own home. The worse part of a scenario such as this is, it is impossible to help someone when they don’t feel they need or want help. Beta has to make the decision not to live the life you describe and I am not sure she has or will. Mary, you clearly wrote “she has never taken our advice to leave him”, what makes you think that can be changed?
Also I wonder is there kids involved? Do other family members see this? Does she have a father or brother who can go with you to visit and confront Keith if need be?
One thing I can say is, don’t give up on her. I suggest you visit her and visit her often when Keith is there and when he is not. Assure her that you are available to her anytime and that she has nothing to fear. Tell her you are very worried about her and that you need to make sure she is ok and look closely for signs of abuse and if something is visible call the police.
I’m sorry I don’t have more to say but you can only help those who are looking for help.

Good Luck & huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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