(Everything that you describe yourself could also be me.
55 yo wife, mother, Gma, ex-Navy, and spouse of one,
World traveler, red wine and dark chocolate lover…could be
Classified as a bitch but I prefer Diva.)

Question: I decided to take
Charge of my health 2 years ago and quitting my job, changing my
Lifestyle by eating and exercising to the tune of 50 pound
Loss. I’ve kicked out toxic people out of my life and this is
My problem. I can’t clear my mind about the upset of having
To do this, but it’s something I had to do to a toxic neice.
I’ve been told to forgive, pray…it’s hard to move forward
Did I mention its been 2 years 🙁
There is no chance for a reconciliation. After years of lying
And just plain not a good person I’m better off without her as is
The rest of my family.

Dear Liz,

Congratulations on taking responsibility for your life and for losing so much weight.
I am sorry that you felt that excommunicating your niece had to happen but if she is poisoning your life, family or not it had to be done.
Being family, does not give anyone the right to hurt other family members. Have you ever heard of the saying, “you always hurt the one you love”?
At times we forget that we should treat everyone including family with love and respect. I am as guilty as the next person. I have to remind myself to treat the people I love as kindly and thoughtfully as a new friend or even a stranger.
Liz, if this young women is constantly causing you upset and creating drama you have no choice but to remove yourself from the equation.
My suggestion, write your niece a letter or email and spell out what you feel is toxic. Then the ball is in her court as to whether she wants to repair the relationship with you or not.
Stop feeling guilty for putting an end to something that hurts you. You have to worry about yourself, your health and your piece of mind. You are headed in the right direction by getting your life under control, your happiness and your health.
Don’t settle for anything less than what you give. People, family can only treat us the way we allow them to treat us, so if you’ve stopped allowing it, good for you.

Good luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

Share This