Dear OTM,

This past weekend I attended a party. At the party I over heard some of the guests talking about the host of the party’s sister. They were talking about how this woman’s boyfriend has hit and abused her a few times, and how wrong and creepy the man is. Then in the same breath said that “Well, she asks for it though, with the way she picks at him, Because he has said that he really does love her” ….I was sitting there screaming in my head ,WHAT??? No wonder she is abused for picking at him?…for picking at him? There is no excuse for a man or anyone to abuse anyone! This poor woman is probably hearing this from her own family and probably feels there is no way out or feels she is in the wrong. So, While she’s getting beat her thoughts are probably, well I deserve this.. Oh my god. I had no right to butt in to the conversation being I didn’t know these people but boy did I want to. Why in the world would anyone think this way. What do you think, do you think sometimes people ASK for it, with how they behave?? I just have never heard anyone react to something like that.

Dear Linda,

How horrific is the statement, “Well, she asks for it though, with the way she picks at him, Because he has said that he really does love her”? It makes me sick. No one deserves to be abused whether others think it is their “fault” or not.
I am shocked you could hold your opinion, I would have had to let my feelings be heard. I am shocked that such a ridiculous backwoods attitude still lives and breathes in this generation.
Years and years of abuse and being told you are to blame begins to brainwash people and they start believing that they are to blame. Unfortunately this behavior can go on for years and years and even be passed down from one generation to another. The fact is people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you and speak to you the way you allow them to speak to you. When you allow unacceptable behavior it becomes acceptable and has the potential to go further and further.

Thank you Linda for writing this letter and spot lighting a huge problem. I hope if you are ever in this situation again, you can speak your mind and not just screaming it in your mind.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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