My life partner and I have been together 10 years and have been married 2 years. So I know her very well or so I thought. I’ve been coming home from work to either find my wife not home and instead out running or she has many guests over our home-male and female acting like teens wrestling , loud conversation. I even suspect some are on drugs. she’s making our “home” into a party house and I don’t like it. She makes me out to be the bad guy , as though I’m the authority over her and her pals. It’s disturbing and I’m at a loss for words. I’ve talked to her and my girl is just fine when it’s us in our home.. We are married, should I set ground rules OTM? Should I really put my foot down. These “friends” are a bad influence.

Dear Autumn,

Your life partner is not a rebellious teen, although she may be acting like one. By setting “ground rules” pertaining to parties and unruly, disrespectful friends the results or change will be little to none. I’m sorry to say this but there is a lot more to this than you think. Autumn, it is absolutely time for the two of you to sit down and have a real heart to heart conversation.
There are questions you should ask and if she loves and respects you, she should be willing to answer them.
Question #1, what is going on? What has changed between us or in you that has you suddenly acting out of character?
Ask her to please be honest and tell you what her feelings are and what direction she sees your relationship going in.
Be honest and explain this is not what you want in a relationship and that after 10 years together you are confused about what she wants in a relationship.
BE HONEST and TALK, don’t accuse and don’t pass judgement. I am hoping if you approach this with a calm, clear mind and she feels you are genuinely concerned she will open up. Autumn, there is something amiss and by “putting your foot down” you will only create a bigger rift and you may be covering up the real reason for the change.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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