Dear One Tough Muther,
My son Came out as gay when he was a teen and no one was really surprised .More like waiting for it to happen. We all took it as wonderful and accepted it. My son is not the first family member to come out so this was an easy acceptance. Skipping way ahead my son grew up met a man and was in a committed relationship with his boyfriend for 18 years. Living together in paradise as they have always said. The family and I would vacation every Christmas and summer down to Florida which is where they live My son’s life partner was wonderful, I so loved him. We all did. The beginning of the year we learned that they were breaking up. For good. Reason being my son met someone else, and they in fact wanted to get married, in which they did a few months ago. I CAN NOT accept it. My son was with the last guy 18 years..And Oh yes, my son’s husband is very nice, very handsome, well educated. Very much younger than him though. But he is nothing like my son’s last partner. No matter how I try to accept it, all I do is cry and cry, At the wedding I cried too., and not out of happiness. I just wish he was still with his last partner. I know I shouldn’t feel this way and that I should be happy for him but I can not. One tough Muther I am hoping this marriage doesn’t work and I don’t think it will and I know that sounds bad! How horrible am I for feeling this way!
You are not a horrible person for feeling sad over the loss of someone who was very important to you and your family for 18 years, however it’s time you move on. Your son has taken someone else as his partner and you have to accept that. His new partner was HIS choice and as sad as it is to you, it is time to let go.
Tammy, try hard to keep an open mind and give this new husband a chance, if he makes your son happy that’s what is important.
Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther