OTM,
MY sister is in a bad marriage. Her husband has had affairs more times then I care to remember. They’ve been on, off and on again through the years. They both work dead end jobs at gas stations and where ever they can find work (when they do work)because they are not educated or care to better themselves. I’ve warned her to not bring a child into the mix until they grow up and learn to earn for themselves instead of getting so much help from welfare. Well my sister did get pregnant and had her child and ended up moving from new york to pa to live back home with my parents with her child because her husband once again had an affair. I haven’t spoken to my sister in about a year – year and a half because of my input but she is basically living at home with my parents, working part time and collecting different things from the state aide. It’s crazy to me. What made her think she could bring a child into this world when she can not even take care of herself. I’ve told my parents to not allow her to stay there and to force her to find full time work and her own place but my parents seem excited and thrilled to have her home.Why is everything I say not being taken to thought. My sister is really embarrassing our family!

Dear Danielle,

Your sister has made some very poor decisions as you know and continues to do so.

Let’s break it down: she stays in a marriage with a man who has little or no regard for her love or her safety, evident by his pursuit of other women, she is on welfare and she makes no attempt to better herself, she brings a helpless child into this world and excepts your parents and state to pick up the cost of raising the child and she works part time with out any thought of moving out and supporting herself. I’m sorry to say this however, your sister sounds spoiled, selfish and completely irresponsible. She can’t even care for herself much less a baby and having your parents kick her out of the house will only effect the child in a negative way, with a “Mother” like your sister.
Danielle, regardless of what you say and everything aside, it is painfully obvious that Sissy has NO intention of listening to anyone but herself, so I believe you are wasting your breath.
Danielle, you can’t help someone who does not want to be helped. It is like banging your head against a wall until it really hurts, however you keep on banging hoping for a different out come other than pain.

STOP BANGING and come to terms with the fact that know matter who helps her, nothing will change without her changing herself. SHE needs to address her, self serving attitude and realize the world does not revolve around her. None of that can or will happen with your nagging so let it go. If your sister or even your parents don’t see value of her stepping up to try and build a life for this baby then so be it, which is very sad for the baby.

Danielle, if I were you I would do what I could for the baby, who didn’t ask to be born into this crappy situation and I’d do nothing for your sister. She seems to have a handle on how to work the system and the people around her so I am sure she doesn’t need your guidance. As for your parents, as long as they allow her to act in this ridiculous matter she will and they will be stuck with her, completely their choice. If they aren’t setting guidelines and future exceptions from her then you can expect nothing to change.

I am sorry I couldn’t offer more however I will say this, you didn’t mention your sisters age. I will hope it is very young for if not and she willingly living this lifestyle I feel very sad for the baby.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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