Dear OTM,

A friend of mine from my childhood into teens years has passed away in an accident.It has been a really long time since i have seen her, about seven years and about 3 or so years since we have spoken but she was a friend. I am afraid i will not be able to attend the funereal because of my schedule and lack of sitters for my children now that school will be over.I really don’t want people thinking bad of me for not attending.I’m not even sure if her family would remember me as i did not see them often i’m not sure they would notice, but i’m just concerned. Is there another way for me to show my condolences or should i find a way to attend

Dear Jennifer,

I am so sorry that you lost a friend. It is always hard whether we see them everyday or not. It is wonderful that you want to in some way pay your respects.
Here is my suggestion. When my father died a few of my very close friends who lived out of town, couldn’t make it to his service. Of course I completely understood, things happen in life, time does not stand still. However, what both friends did was write me a very personal and beautiful message in a condolence card. Both wrote about times that they spent with me when we were children and how my Dad was so funny and kind. One friend reminded me of the time my father taught us how to whistle and the other wrote about how my Dad would tell us very silly jokes. I loved reading their letters and have saved both. Honestly those memories meant more to me then having them quickly pay their respects at the funeral.

Write your friends family a lovely note with a heart felt, fond memory. Believe me the note will make the family smile and feel happy that their loved one lives on in your memories. My deepest sympathy Jennifer and thank you for writing.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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