Hi OTM,

I am a mommy of 2 kids. 10 & 2. I am a dedicated mommy. Always home with them, i don’t work right now and i don’t really go anywhere unless it is with my husband, just because my 2 year old is very energetic and has scheduled naps. My husband works everyday, but i get very angry when he goes out with his brothers once in awhile or friends fishing, hunting whatever. I always give him a time to be back by and he doesn’t listen.I feel he should want to be home with us, his family. He tells me i should go out once in awhile to get myself out of the house. I really don’t want to though. I would be a nervous reck, and anyway when you have a family you shouldnt be ” going out” i feel. I would feel really guilty leaving my kids. How can i get my husband to listen to me and be back at the time i say and choose us over his buddies?

Dear Bethany,

Your husband is not choosing his buddies over his family he simply needs time to be himself and enjoy him own interests. As long as he is fishing, hunting or pursuing a hobby and not constantly sitting in a bar, you have nothing to worry about. If he should occasionally go out with his brothers or friends he should enjoy himself and not feel restricted to a time you set.
Also I agree with your husband, you should try to get out with a friend once in a while as well. Nothing crazy if your nervous, a cup of coffee, a drink, to get your nails done anything that will give you time to be you, not Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

It’s very admirable that you are so dedicated to your children but you also need to be good to yourself.
It is very difficult to be on demand 24/7 ask me I had 4 children and lived far from family in other countries because my ex-husband was military and gone 80% of the time.
At some point even if it is every few months, you just need to take a breath and experience a change of pace.
It is hard when we have children to relax and concentrate on ourselves, but it is very important for you and your family to be individuals as well as a unit. This will help to teach your older children self reliance and self expression.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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