Dear One Tough Muther
I have a growing problem. I am falling for a guy I work with and I don’t know what to do.
We are both divorced and in our 40’s. He has a girlfriend and I am presently not seeing anyone. We talk everyday and have so much in common. We work closely all day and the flirt/attraction is getting stronger.
The trouble with this besides the girlfriend, when we first started working together we talked about how we would NEVER date someone we work with because it is a stupid mistake. We still talk about it from time to time so being together is completely out, how do I get past these feelings for him?
Dear No Hope,
It sounds like you are stuck on an escalator going down. You have to be around this guy everyday at work and you are attracted to him, however you did what I say I won’t do, Never say Never. I tend to think that if you get to know someone you are working with they reserve a piece of themselves that they can’t display in the employment environment. What if after work or on weekends this guy is a real schmuck and he appeal dips below the cool guy level? What if his day to day personal side is nothing like his work persona and you start something that you can’t get away from because you work together. Then there is the fact that he has a girlfriend.
Hope, I’m sorry but my advice is, steer clear.
Work together, have fun, enjoy him at work and anything after that “clock out”. Work romances have been around since the beginning of time and very few of them that I’ve heard of work out. I believe that if someone is committed to someone else they should be 120% of limits. I also deeply believe that if someone is willing to romance you while they are with someone else, they’d be willing to romance someone else while they are with you, period.
So Hope stick to your never dating at the office and find another lover.
Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther