Dear one tough muther,

I recently had a falling out with a family member. My brother in law and I won’t get into that but my question is about my mother in law. Ever since the falling out with this loser she’s been distant, which she’s never been like ever. She said she understands how I’m feeling with the situation and said to just know that they love me, right. Well everytime I try to strike up a conversation I get one word answers. This is through messages. She’s not one for short messages. And twice I got a quick message from her after trying to have small talk saying, just know that we love you. That to me sounds like she’s letting me know that because she’s planning distance from me. Should I try to talk to her and see what’s going on . My issue has nothing to do with her, though the baby in law lives at home with her, or just leave it alone and let things settle?

Dear Mia,

Ugh, what a crappy situation to be in at anytime and now even worse due it is the holidays. I feel badly for your poor Mother-in-law. It sounds to me as though she is being pulled or placed in a situation where no matter what she does she is wrong, in someones eyes. I would bet on that being the reason she keeps saying “just know we love you.” Is it possible the baby-in-law as you put it, is giving her a hard time about talking to you and not being on their side. She probably only wants to keep peace for everyone’s sake.
So invite your Mother-in-law over to your house to see the kids. Ask her out to lunch or to go to the mall with you. Include her in making Christmas cookies with the children or to go for a ride to see the Christmas lights.
Mia, this situation will eventually burn itself. I don’t know who or what she is dealing with but it sounds to me as though it is someone possibly the baby-in-law who is trying to control her and the situation.
Get her out and about with you and the kids by asking your husband to get involved it is his Mother correct?
Don’t put anymore stress on her or yourself it is your husbands Mother and he should deal with whatever needs to be dealt with.

Good Luck and Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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