How you bounce back from adultry

Dear Jackie,

I thought about this question long and hard. I wish there was some magic word or secret method to help you bounce back from lying, cheating, deceptive actions but ugh there is none? For that I am truly sorry.
I too was a victim of such a devastating and unnecessary act, many, many years ago and have spoken to so many women about adultery however I still don’t have the answer.
I forgave my ex, but Jackie the truth is I could never forget. Maybe you are stronger, deeper and better at sorting this out which will allow you to truly move forward and go on, I was not.
I once read an analogy that lying was like taking a fresh, crisp sheet of paper and squeezing it down into a very tight ball. Once you have squeezed and packed it tight in to that ball try to unfold it. Make it as flat as you can by pressing it smoothly and unwrinkling it completely.
No matter how hard you work, how hard you pressed, how hard you try to smooth it, the wrinkles will still remain. For some that is the same with lying and cheating. We work so hard to get over it but you really only get past it, the wrinkles are there no matter how much we tried.
Jackie, the one thing I can suggest that may truly help is to seek out a qualified therapist. Find one you are comfortable with and you can trust to talk out your feelings and vent your hurt. Someone impartial, unrelated and understanding. A person who is not a part of your family members or friends. By speaking with a therapist it may help you release some pain and help you bounce back.
And remember take your time to heal, take your time to forgive and take your time to recognize it was not you. It was them who committed adultery, it was their choice to cheat you are just the victim of a very selfish act.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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