Dear OTM,

We are a one income home. My husband is the only one working and i am a stay home mom. Since this is the case i feel like i have no say in how my husband spends the money. I also feel like i have no right to spend money on myself so i usually if i need anything i go with out or I go for sale first. My husband recently made a very large purchase on an item for his buddies boat that they use to fish. I was furious because he didn’t tell me he was making this purchase and we couldn’t really afford such a large purchase when it isn’t benefiting our family, it’s for himself.I told him how utterly ridiculous it was to do that and he says it’s his money, he’s working so he will spend it how he chooses as long as bills are paid. But then he will complain that we don’t have money, and of course if i mention, well….the money you used for what you bought for the boat could of been used for THIS, it just pisses him off. Since i don’t work (for money anyway) should i have no say in how the money is spent? Do i have a right in deciding if a large purchase is appropriate? I mean should i sit with my mouth zipped while the bread winner does.. whatever he wants, Last time i checked it wasn’t 1950….I hope this question makes sense..

Dear Cindy,

You have every right to be upset, you are a family. I’d have to say that taking care of children, the house, a husband and all the day to day issues is as exhausting, if not more exhausting than working out of home. Truthfully I should know, I’ve done both.
Ok, so you don’t work for cold hard cash and it’s a damn good thing because your husband couldn’t afford to pay a staff to do what you do daily.The truth is, his actions were immature and thoughtless. HE works, HE makes the money, HE wanted it, HE deserves it and HE bought it…Wow, HE needs to get a grip.
HE married you, HE made a family, HE has priorities and HE responsibilities.
He needs to put his family before his buddies fishing boat or any other large purchase unless HE is making millions.

Huge Muther Hugs,


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