OTM,

Here’s what going on. I do not get along with my brother in law. He’s disrespectful towards myself and others, a low life in and out of jail for not holding a job to pay child support. It’s income tax time and he knows we get a good amount back. The other day my kids were on my husbands phone playing a game and my son said mom someone called dad, well it was a message and my child clicked on the message so when I was handed the phone the message was open, ok yes I did take it upon myself to read further in the messages, absolutely wrong but it’s done and over with. Here is my brother in law asking my husband to purchase him things for play station like games or guys for some game asking when my husband can buy them. My husband was saying is this important now? But then later agreed to do so. I’m ready to message my brother in law flipping out to get a job so he can buy himself toys and stop asking my husband because we have more important things to take care of. Tell me what to do please. No matter what I do they will know I read the messages..

Dear Mary,

Be COMPLETELY honest and admit to reading the messages but only because you saw what you were handed first. Be honest and tell your husband that “frankly I couldn’t help but follow the conversation, it was ridiculous and I was blown away that anyone would ask a man with a family, a wife and children to buy him video games”. Then explain to your husband that if there is enough money left AFTER all the bills are paid, a savings is made for future expenses such as; car repairs, medical expenses, household items and a certain amount of money is allocated to the children’s birthday and Christmas fund as well as money is placed away in case it is needed for an extra mortgage payment or two in the event you should lose your jobs, THEN and ONLY THEN, he can spend the remaining sum anyway he wants!
Mary, believe me any mature, normal, family man fully understands his responsibilities to his family and would concur. By your husband following these stipulations it would be the only way I’d even consider stomaching the fact that he purchased a video game for his low life brother, that doesn’t work and has been in and out of jail for evading child support. And Mary I have to be honest I could barely even stomach the purchase with those terms met.
Stand up for your family’s needs even if your husband doesn’t. Oh and remind hubby that if his brother wants a video game so desperately he has to ask him to buy it, maybe he should get a job!

Good Luck and Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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