Recently my daughter that I gave up for adoption 16 years ago found me. We have gotten very close very quickly. We spend lots of time together, but I’m feeling guilty because im spending so much time with her that im taking time away from her adoptive parents. Should I back off even though no one has said its to much ?

Dear Pam,

Congratulations, how wonderful and special that you have found each other and are doing so well that is awesome.
First, let me say I am so glad you are concerned about your daughter’s parents feelings, that says a lot about you. The truth is for all intents and purposes your daughters adoptive parents, are her parents. These wonderful people chose your little girl to love and raise as their very own and you have to respect them and their feelings.
Pam, I would speak to them about this. I’d also try to either include your daughters adoptive parents in as much as I could or put a call into them one evening and discuss your feelings with them. I know how excited your little girl must be to spend time with you and how much she wants to get to know you, that is completely understandable however your right her parents feelings must be considered.
So my suggestion is as I said, be upfront, honest and ask them how they are feeling about all of this I’m sure it is the right thing to do.

Best Wishes & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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