One tough Muther should I feel guilty if I am now more popular than my friend since childhood? We are neighbors and have been besties since kindergarten but now this is high school and jes and I are headed in totally different directions. I’ve made lots of friends and Jes relies on me to make friends for her. Some of my friends think this is pathetic and I have been hanging with Jes less and Less. I guess what I am asking is , is there a point in life when you need to let go of someone because your life is changing, no matter how much you love them ? I love my friend but she’s embarrassing herself by being my puppy following my friends and I and hardly saying two words..

Dear Janine,

Yes, there is a point in your life when you need to let go of someone because your life is changing but I don’t think this is one of those times.
Janine, Jes has always been there for you. Jes has been there during the good times and bad, when you were not so popular and now that you are, when you felt sad, hurt or down as well as now when you are on a social climb. If you love her and I truly believe you do, you need to help her break out of her shell and that doesn’t mean you have to drag her behind you 24/7. However you still should make time for her, help her, talk to her and maybe give her some pointers. Janine think about this, suddenly one day people discover that Jes can sing, really sing as in American Idol type of scenario and Jes becomes an overnight success. You are so happy because YOU were the one who encouraged her and worked with her to be brave enough to sing out loud. Now she is busy, travel, social status and new friends. Would it crush you if she ignored you, bypassed you, moved on with her new crowd without you and leave you standing alone?
Well Janine that is what you are doing. Thank hard Janine if something like I wrote happened how would you feel?
For all we know Jes, may just be a late bloomer and need a bit more time to grow socially and that’s ok. People grow at different levels. By the way how dare your “new friends” label her as pathetic? Really Janine, your going to listen some new friends dish on your bf for years? Being insecure and shy is not being pathetic. One question what have these friends done to earn the right or have the nerve to question who you are friends with and then label your friend?
Janine I have one word to say, Karma. Remember how you are acting and treating Jes right now. Popularity is fleeting and your bubble can pop and crash as fast as it is rising and maybe Jes won’t be there. At any point Karma can and will come and teach you a hard lesson, I promise. And with the way you are talking about and treating Jes right now I’d be careful.
Janine, just remember people come and go in our lives but a true friend is very hard to find so don’t throw it away.
Speak to Jes, make time for Jes separately and be your fun self with her. If your new crowd is not her new crowd, she must go on to find her own crowd and eventually she will then when she does, I hope she will make time for you.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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