Dear One tough muther,

My brother in-law has been in and out of jail for not having a job and not paying his child support for his kids. His parents talk to him every sunday on the phone and send him supplies. My brother in-law also calls my husband once in awhile. Once he called 4 times in a row and my husband didn’t answer. He is sick of this, and is just fed up and doesn’t want to hear how he screwed up and needs to get his life in order. This has been years and years of these promises and my husband is just tired of it and chooses to block him out. My in-laws are not to happy about it and tell my husband to just answer the phone and talk to his brother for a few minutes. That his brother doesn’t have anyone. The thing is though when his brother is out of jail we never see or hear from him. He is not involved in our lives so my husband feels why should i be there for him? What is your opinion. Should my husband just talk to his brother or do what he feels he wants to do- which is ignore him?

Dear Ellen,

Well, it appears that your husbands brother is acting out what he has learned in life, how to manipulate everyone and anyone he can and make them feel sorry for his choices. This guy is a true Master!
He takes his poor life choices and projects them on his parents and others, time and time again to make himself out like the victim. Wait did the woman or women, mother/mothers of his children get pregnant by themselves? did these poor babies ask to be born and ignored by their worthless father? is he disabled to the point that he can’t get a job? any job or is that just what he chooses? I have these questions and more.
So your telling me that the brothers parents, your husbands parents as well, feel sorry for the guy because he would rather sit his lazy a** in jail on our tax payer dollars than work a job, any job to support other lives he brought into this world?
Gee, I am beginning to wonder who is the dysfunctional one here him or his parents.
The on top of all that drama, your husbands parents want your husband to chit chat with the guy every Sunday on the phone from jail so he doesn’t feel shunned over a choice he makes to go to jail other than work a demeaning job. WOW, I am blown away.

Here’s my opinion, someone has to stop this train wreck with the “poor me” bag of excuses. If your husbands parents don’t see it and can’t come to terms with it then your husband should. Your husband is 100% right to sever this ridiculous charade of a relationship. His brother is a manipulative, self centered, immature excuse for a man and someone needs to light a fire under his narcissistic ass. Where he is currently is a choice he made, so he should have to deal with it not everyone else.
Tell your husband to stick to his guns on this one, it may be the slap in the head his brother needs but I sincerely doubt it he has Mommy and Daddy is his cell corner.

Good luck!

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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