I’m the oldest of three girls. We are all married with our own little families and we do not live near each other, so during the holidays we all go to mom and dad’s for a weekend and have an early Christmas, which has already happened. My oldest sister is a struggling parent, life is hard for them so when I opened my gift of a snow man coffee mug with a bag of a home made hot chocolate mix in it, I realized just how tough times are for them , being that the mug did not look new, but was cute. I thought it was a cute idea and I gave her a hug and I was grateful, grateful my family was together. Well our other sister made it a point to laugh as she opened her mug and be sarcastic about how great the gift from our sister was. She started teasing my sister by going into the kitchen grabbing a spoon and handing it to my sister and saying “merry Christmas” my sisters face was bright red and I felt horrible. Shouldn’t we be more worried about who we are spending the holidays with rather than the gifts under the tree?

Dear Emily,

I am so hurt for your lovely sister. What a loving gesture to bring something for each of you. I know exactly how devastating it can be to be embarrassed by someone you love. I have been in that position and when I read your letter the flood of hurt came rushing back, many years later.
The holidays have become a competition of who can buy what for whom, how much you spend and give until it gets…ridiculous.
The spirit of giving should be out of love, exactly what your sister displayed and the fact the your other sister didn’t understand that makes me sad for her. Family above all others should love and appreciate the thought and kindnesses of the gift, not how much money was spent on it. The gift of each other, memories, love and togetherness should always be the goal.
Please send this letter to both sisters for me, for this should be a life lesson of the heart. The feeling and hurt of being humiliated, especially by someone you love, may take years to heal. It is a deep sharp pain that hurts more than some may ever know. I have taught my children that the pain from being slapped will fade but you will never for get the pain that words can create. Remember to NEVER chastise others for their heartfelt actions and well meaning intentions. Karma is all around us, at all times, she never sleeps. YOU may forget what you have said or done, however Karma will not.
Love each other while you can, for one day you may not all be together.
In the end all that matters is loving your family, for the gifts will be long gone.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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