Executive Editor at Good Housekeeping Magazine, brought on 4 years ago in May to help “dust off” the 130-year-old megabrand which is 18.4 million strong! Meagan formerly landed an on-air gig as a lifestyle correspondent on MTV, served on the creative team at Victoria’s Secret, producing the catalog and helping to launch their Pink line and after that she jumped back into magazines, working on Lifetime magazine, before moving to senior editor at Cosmo, spills about her live and love.

 

Show Transcript

The one tough mother podcast, the one tough mother show is real talk with special guests including industry leaders, celebrities and amazing women who’ve overcome adversities to work their way to the top and are willing to share their real life lessons. You don’t have to be a mother to be one. Tough mother. It’s all about you.

Welcome to the Tough Mother show, we have a great show today. Again, we always have amazing women and um,  that just is here to, for the beer, right sack. You’re here for the beer of course, as well as tough brothers at one snow storm last night for you or managed, you know, I had to be proactive early today. So I went out at 6:30 and then went out and salted and we were good at snow. Actually stopped for us like 10:00, 10:30. That’s when it’s actually supposed to go out in the morning and five in the morning at the shuttle again. But it was, it was all clear. A mailman and your mom lives with me and she’s [inaudible] as everyone knows. And everyone’s heard that for 35 shows. But I said, my, you’re going to shovel. This is honest to God. She loves to shovel and she has a little kids shovel and she just wants to. She wants to shovel the stairs. That’s what she does with her little shovel, the stairs, but putting a lot of hits on Youtube. But to do that I’m going to drive around with the idea. The snowblower. I do the egg, then they use mild there on the steps with a little orange shovel. She gets it done. She, that works out for us a real quick. I lived across the street from the Y and my 10 year old that classes yesterday. So this is the guy that lived across the street, the wise open. We take the wire nuts on Clark street were neighbors. Oh, you’re on that side. So yeah.

What was your address on air? If anyone wants to selective attention. Jehovah’s Witnesses. I like meeting New People. We’re across the street to the y and it’s not, I don’t have to drive. And uh, he was the only had two classes. He was the only kid in class for both classes. Hair like a personal instruction. Oh Wow. That’s awesome that everyone else just wimped out. Oh my God. State of emergency sniper. My daughter is acting class two people showed up and we were not one of them excuse to drink hot chocolate impact for Jamaica. Sorry. Classes canceled our guest. She’s with us and she’s awesome. I absolutely love her. We just talked about we don’t how we connected, but we social media and nobody knows social media. Nobody has a clue. Anyway, today we have a wonderful woman who’s been a major influence in women’s lives longer than you can even think and you don’t even know it. Um, she got her start with Wyatt magazine at the age of 19 after winning the Horatio Alger, right? National Scholarships, actually chancellorship contest. From there, she went on to help create team people and many, many more things are awesome. Guests also landed a gig which I would’ve loved. I, I did this Gig as

a lifestyle correspondent with MTV, served as the creative team. OK. At Victoria’s secrets producing the catalog and helping to launch the pink line who my daughter has everything in the catalog. I’m sure and after that she jumped back into magazines and worked on lifetime magazine, then moved onto the senior editor of cosmo. I am so damn tired. Just talking about was so from there. Before I get into anything else, I have to say she is the executive editor now of good housekeeping magazine who male mountains. Your mom asked me to ask you something and bought and who was brought in four years ago to help desktop the hundred and 30 year old mega brand, which is 18 point 4,000,000 strong and just with that I love to introduce this powerhouse woman. She’s awesome. She’s kick ass and she’s dressed really cute and her name happens to be Megan Murphy.

Yay. Practically a Leprechaun. Megan Murphy. We just celebrated our big day so you know. Yeah, we did too. Was making with all the letters because my mom thought I was extra x. You know what? It’s so funny. Every time I write your name, I’m like, why did you like flip all today? How it’s Gaelic. My mom likes to make things difficult. Love you, mom. She’s going to get you for that. When I’m exhausted, just reading all the stuff. Do you do. What time do you wake up in the morning? Oh, three. Like a robot [inaudible] like a robot programmed internal body clock. I literally, legitimately [inaudible] wake up 10 to 17 bedtime without an alarm clock. Wait, five. Oh, seven. You wake up [inaudible]. Wake up, [inaudible] shut off. So I know that you’re a personal trainer. I have my certification. I’ve been a certified trainer for 12 years. I was the fitness director and deputy editor of self magazine for eight and a half years.

So I worked on the self challenge. I made videos, workout buddies with Jillian michaels. I was on exercise TV. So I. I’m a fitness girl. I have kettlebells certification has been certification and my American Council on exercise certification exercise is my secret sauce. My happy pill. What keeps me going. It was my job for a long time and now it’s just a part of who I am and a little part of my job. It’s the best. It’s what I grew up. My whole industry was sports nutrition, so for 20 some years my kids only saw me in the gym actually, and all my kids are big except the old test, big type body builders and workout feans and football players. It’s just the fact that it is what you say it is. It’s your stress relief that you’re happy pill. It’s everything you need and it’s funny. When I, when I like left the job itself to go to good housekeeping, people are like, are you going to stop working out now? And I’m like, yeah, and I’m going to stop brushing my teeth.

I’m not going to go to the bathroom ever again. I mean it’s like for me it’s just I feel like it regulates my mood. I have a lot of energy. It helps me process my energy. For me it’s very social, so I go to the gym, I’m at like 5:30 in the morning and I have this good vibe. Tribe of women. It’s like the dawn patrol. We’re really tight friends. I feel like it’s like we’re going for drinks except the drinks or water and it’s like I really rely on those friendships and they’ve really developed over the years and I do a lot of like yoga and boxing. I love [inaudible]. I love Poe. I love orange theory, mostly three letter workout. So Po OTF stands for strengthen, lengthen in tone. I call it is on crack. So you’re using a megaformer, which is a souped up reformer creative by Sebastian lagree, who’s this guy out of Virginia Hollywood and I mean there’s nothing like it.

I’ve have better abs now after three children than I did when I was [inaudible]. Oh Man. Yeah. You can’t cheat. And I feel like it it really [inaudible] bleaks. And here’s the key moms. It’s like if you get those obliques nice and tight, a kind of camouflage is a little pooch, right? You’re like, ah, her big is so great. You cannot just ignore that extra skin tightening. Right. It just, it makes it seem like you have killer apps when really. I mean my third child was nine pounds, 23 inches. So like my belly is never going to be the same. I have some skin in different area codes, you know what I’m saying, but that just honing the obliques with the [inaudible] workout really was transformational for me and I just feel really strong. Part of what I work out is to feel strong but strong body, strong mind, strong mind, strong body.

So it gives me a new kind of strength that is really empowering. I used to run marathons, you know, and I don’t run like that anymore because it just, it’s not the same type of mental benefit for me. Right. Me Too. I love the. I love the lift. I’m sorry, I’m going to lift girl. I’m not a runner. I even though I do, I live on the elliptical. I don’t like to run, but I’m the lift. Like people will be like, wow, you’re really, you know, you got a lot of strength. Why really strong? The lyft has always been me. That’s where I came from. I love to live and I don’t lift heavy. I’m not like a cross fitter, but I do this extreme box in class at po and in Short Hills, New Jersey and we do things like, you know, rings and climbing ropes and I love it, love it.

I were things where I surprise myself and I feel like a child, like that’s my happy place where I’m like, I know I could do that. Oh my gosh. I’m climbing ropes. Like I’m in gym class. Wow. This is super fun. You like the idea is to put the fun in fitness because if you enjoy your workout, it never feels like work. Right, right, right, right. Because people will be like, well, I do, I do the flip flop from you. I, I do nighttime workouts. Mine. Mine is at the end of the day when I have to relieve a lot of stress when I went out and I can go right to bed, no problem. So I’ll do my hour, hour and 45 at night and it makes me. It’s amazing. I love it. It’s just like, that’s it. See, I would be anxious all day that I wasn’t going get it in and this is the weird thing is I don’t double shower like so if I have to shower, go through my day, work out and shower again.

I’m like that’s not efficient. I can’t double shower so I have to have the morning workout so that I only have to take one shower their body clock into a master of efficiency. Like I have saved myself a good seven minutes by working out in the morning. I might as well just wake up, right. I just, you know, I want to always do it and I just, I’ve done it a couple times. I just can’t. I live across the street from the why you would think I know the tone for the day, but I had read. I’d read this study once where I think it take 16 to 19 days to some mental habit. So if you set that alarm and you get up that 16 to 19 times, it’s just what you do and then you stop thinking about it the same way you stop thinking about brushing your teeth. Absolutely. It’s absolutely true. I read that before too, like if I, if I skip, like I skipped over the holidays, I skipped like two weeks. Not only did I feel like such a slug and so like all like, and I didn’t eat a lot. Like it wasn’t like I over ate because I’m, you know, I’m a freak about sugar. Sugar scares me. But um, yeah, I just felt really crappy.

She blew my whole life. I feel put out right this second. But here I’m going to ask anyway, so I’m just going to ask her what she’s passionate about, but dammit, I know fitness is one thing I’m passionate about, but I’m most passionate about family and fun. Yeah, I mean I prioritize family over all things. I work, I live, I breathe for my family. That is like number number, number number one. Um, I’m passionate about quirky things. I’m quite passionate about decorating my house for the holidays. Easter just threw up all over my house and that happened like at 7:00 in the morning after throwing a major major for St Patrick’s Day and taking down all of those decorations like I want my house to feel like a celebration at all times. That’s my husband calls it decoration day and he knows like OK, she’s all Easter all the time today.

Like the house is going to be this and that. Like I will decorate for flag day. I mean like I will decorate and celebrate anything. I’m very passionate in life about celebrating because I think that if you just kind of create this joy, you feel more joyful. Right. I, I love decorating. I do that all the time too. I just did all my Easter stuff. I sent you a picture with my Easter eggs. I had the great big plastic ones all over the front of my yard. Got. Yeah. Well now that’s covered in snow. Yeah. They are actually covered by style. It’s just so funny. Yesterday I’m like, I was like, oh, there’s tulips in three different places in my house and bunnies and it like, it just looks like this beautiful, springy away and then you pick out the window and there’s like 12 inches of snow.

Yeah, no, it was crazy. Couldn’t take it was like take a picture of the eggs covered with snow and like, Ma, you can’t see the eggs. Yeah, mom was now. But anyway, I love that too. And you have three kids ages. So I have a daughter who’s seven. I have my middle guy just turned six and then my little guy is four and a half and very passionate about the half. Um, so they’re, they’re basically Iras, triplets. They’re all about about 15 to 17 months apart. We just never really thought about kids. Just have three.

Did you plan that? I’m like, absolutely not, but it’s Tim Murphy and they function like a team and um, it’s, it’s fun to have them all so close in age. I had wished for a fourth and instead got a dog and we have a puppy now to Dempsey doodle. So yeah. So we have a full house, we have a really full house. I’m definitely in the weeds is other moms like to call it, but I would freeze time if I could [inaudible] it’s so magical and it’s in a heartbeat, right seth? And it just siblings deny their old four and a half turn five, cheat them out of that half a four on the way number four. Oh my goodness. My sister and brother both have [inaudible] so on the slacker of the family. And um, the fact that I have, you know, like a new job in a commute didn’t really win me any points with.

And they’re like, seriously that you’re just going to have three kids. That’s it. OK. Actually I have four in my son and daughter-in-law are due to have their next thing, number three little girl any day now. And last night I was at their house and I said, you know, there’s no place that you go, I’ll take a table for five. It’s four six going to be like, shut up. And I’m like, you know where, where do you go that you get [inaudible] you got to have support or six [inaudible] and five like go to Disney. World’s I coco who rides the one ride with the one odd man out. You gotta bring your Grandpa. Yeah, five is true. I mean I, it was funny like I’m going to play this for her. She’s going to love this. Like I, I really. It was funny, like I was like OK, we gotta put this on pause.

I’m exhausted now. We’re moving to the burbs and then, but then like a year to turn 40. And I was like, Oh man, why didn’t we do that? But unfortunately, and my husband will love me showing us on the radio. I had had him fixed so there was no turning back. It’s on my block. There’s one right on Orchard Street. And we were like, it’s a sign. There’s a urologist across the street. Oh yes. Actually still make an appointment. And that was, is that this is the gift that keeps on giving. And, but then then, I mean, I did, I was like, oh, I think I made a mistake. He was like, sorry. And I’m like, fine, fair enough, care enough, get it. Got It. Poppy. Yeah. Whoops. We’ll get a puppy part of the family. The job. We basically got the Emoji dog. Not even on purpose.

All because I do love emojis. All. He’s, he’s adorable. I bet it takes care of them. Well he’s so I have a full time babysitter all day because I’m in the city and my husband’s in Princeton and luckily we cleared it with my babysitter ahead of time and we said, hey listen, we’re thinking of adopting. Um, and she’s like, I’m like, no, a dog. Um, do you think you’d be OK with this? And she was very excited. So thankfully. So he’s got company non nonstop. I mean like my boys are out of school by 30, so I mean it’s a busy house at all times. Oh Geez. That is crazy. My daughter just got two puppies and she’s out of her mind. They wouldn’t let us take two. She took brothers. It wouldn’t separate. They don’t do it. They, the breeder that we got from, they don’t.

They don’t. There’s one puppy at the time, I guess to make sure you’re good parents and you’re going to have it sport and loved ones family. Somebody. Somebody privately had their daughter works at the vet and she brought them home to foster them until they found a home for these brothers and my daughter saw them. They fell in love with Hank. When Finn, what are they? Shepherd something mix and they’re adorable. They’re just so puppy. They’re so dumb. Like boule boule in there. So can we have a labradoodle from cream puff labradoodles down in South Jersey and this dog is smart. We had a dog trainer come in for one day because we just didn’t know what we were doing and she taught him to ring a bell to go potty, so we had this cow bell and the dog rings the Bell and you let them out and then you let them back in and give him a treat and so like you can be playing, running around. Then all of a sudden you hear the bell rings. You’re like, oh, [inaudible], he’s got to go out and any of my kids can open the door, let him out the side.

I couldn’t say enough about this breed. So when you got it, uh, eight weeks old, I think we can take them at eight weeks. He’s four months getting his last shots today and he’s getting big. He’s getting. He’s like, as he’s growing up too fast, I don’t like it. Nobody tells you they’re like a puppy for a hot second. Oh, you’re so lucky you’re gonna. Get to smell a baby soon. I know. Pink Lotion. Wow. It’s so crazy how fast things do move. And these guys hurt. Puppies are like 14 months or week. Fourteen weeks now. And they’re really good. Like she’s got them down pat, but they’re big dogs. They’re not like, they’re going to be big like your dogs because they’re shipping. I think he’s going to be 35 or 40 pounds. So he’s not the full ginormous version, but he’s not a mini, like 65, 70 pounds.

They’re going to be big, big dogs. Like they have like 40 pound kids at this point. So tell us, tell us about this, tell us about good housekeeping seal of good housekeeping. I, it’s 18 point 4,000,000 readers and it sort of talks about everything everybody cares about. So it’s everything from really great triple tested recipes to decorating ideas right now is the Easter issue. And what I love about good housekeeping is the covers because I matched at eaton nails in Westfield, New Jersey and like that. That is you talking about things I’m passionate about. That’s like one of my joys in life is nail art. Like I get so excited about really fun manicures. I think that’s the secret. If you can get excited about little things, you’ll be generally happy. Absolutely. One hundred percent. My manicure makes me very happy. But what I love about good housekeeping is there’s really something for everyone and we talk to women at all ages and stages of life.

So it can be everyone from 18 to 80. Um, and everybody finds a different sweet spot. We’ve really done a lot to sort of refresh it and make it over like you feel the coverage, this beautiful matte cover. And when we have the good housekeeping institutes, so unlike any other magazine, any products we recommend, any advice we give has been vetted by our good housekeeping institute of scientists. We have chemists and engineers and phd’s and Dietitians and chefs on staff. The 29th floor of the hearst tower where the institute lives. And it’s a pretty amazing place to, I’d love to say, come visit, come take all your mom would lose her mind, you know, she went to ask me about. She just ask her about the Marangu. How do you make the merit where separate. I’m like, mom, I’m not going to ask her about Marangu.

Oh, what is one tip we gave about, um, is to, to chill your tools ahead of time. Yes. It’s in the next issue. It’s a really great tip. The kitchen told me all about this. Oh, I’m going to have to desk. So you chill your tools ahead of time and you’ll get a nicer whip. Yeah. She said her Miranda separates and weeps. And I’m like, I’ll ask her mom if I get the chance. Absolutely. She should come for a twirl. People lose their mind over the institute institutes a really magical place and it’s just neat to see the actual expertise in this world of fake news and bs information. The fact that we have these scientists and experts on staff in the building helping us put this magazine together. So if I tell you an eye cream is great, it’s because my chemist tested it on the, on real people in the [inaudible] machine and saw an improvement of x percent in whatever. I love that.

I love this and you know, I love the fact that you’re updating it and make it new and relevant because our art, we’ve had everybody from Korean Fox, Jamie Foxx has daughters. She was like 23 to a hundred and two year old Frances Hesselbein the great, great, great granddaughter of President Adams on our show. So we have a vast audience. So this is cool for them to know that. Well, it’s funny too, and we, we really do speak to the young people because what happens is in these past generations they’ve missed out on things like cleaning tips and like how do I iron and what’s the best way to get red wine out of my white shirt. Oh God, you’re so right. You know why? Because people got busy working and they’ve got to talk to their kids and teach them common sense and even people getting married, getting engaged, buying their first department, like what vacuum do I want?

  1. Which one has the good housekeeping seal? What? Our standby. Our cleaning lab is really neat. And our vacuum testing, I mean they have like a proprietary mixture of dirt that they mashed into the carpet and they do x amount of swipes back and forth and then measure how much dirt was picked up. So yeah, it’s got. We get into our show there. It’s just, it’s a sweeping views of central park too, which is not so bad. And then the old dining room where everyone from, like Eleanor Roosevelt to Tom Hanks to Kelly Clarkson to Richard Branson last night have celebrated my. So it’s nice. Yeah, it’s a really. I feel very lucky to be able to work where I work. And I think the irony, if you kind of look at all those things I’ve done, my career has sort of followed my life stage and passion. So like when I was itself, yes, those were my selfish years. It was all about me and I was working out and staying healthy and La Cosmo. I was young and single and the city team people. I was actually a team and now this is, you know, like to me everything is home and family and good food, best in class products, decorating ideas, ways to celebrate. And we featured really strong empowered women and so it really just sort of lines up with are actually exactly where I’m at in life, which makes work. Not feel like work life is making workouts and work, not feel like work.

This is how you line up your career with your life. It’s very interesting how you say that almost. Is there something or do you make this happen or is it just just kind of falls that way?

Well, I weirdly, I was a trained actress. I went to Mason Gross School of the arts and, and I believe that it was funny when I was studying acting. My family was like, OK, you got to have a backup. Like Robin Williams always said like, what’s your backup? It can’t just be an actor. And I think he was a welder as well. And my parents always like, what’s your backup? What’s your backup? Well, I think that training, that acting training made me successful in life because it taught me to be present in the moment and to experience life as it was happening. Um, so I’m always ready for what’s going to come next because I’m always, I am where I am. And what I say to my kids all the time is, who cares what we’re having dinner for dinner. Who cares what we’re doing tomorrow? Be where you are.

Because if you are where you are, and I know it sounds a little woo woo, but present in that moment and experiencing that you sort of turns your cab light on so that you’re ready for experiences. Right? And so I have. I’m not very ambitious weirdly, although I’ve had some success. I just know passionate, I’m passionate. I think my, my greatest asset in life is really just my passion. I’m never the smartest person in the room. Never the prettiest person in the room and never any of those things, but I’m hundred percent the most passionate person in the room. And because I live so holy and presently I think that I’ve been able to attract good things. I think you’re just open meg. You’re just an open person. People will always send me messages like I us such good energy. I want to read your law.

And I’m like, I don’t really think a lot about how any of this. I just am, you know? And so no, I’m never going to win an Oscar and a and me award, but that Dan, that acting training taught me something very important in life. Exactly. You never know, um, but I, but I really think that was, that was the thing and like, weirdly, I’ll never, one of my acting teachers at one point was like, you know, if like light falls or someone misses align on stage, something goes wrong, it’s considered a gift because it helps you recalibrate and be more truthful and present in the moment. And so like I sort of interpret kind of curse shit that happens in life as gifts when I was giving my father’s eulogy and not to get Morbid, you know, he died from pancreatic cancer. I was like, you know what?

Cancer was a gift and I can look at this as a gift because you know what it did? It gave me five minutes to try on five months to try on saying goodbye. Give me a chance to say, Hey, what’s your legacy? It gave me those opportunities and those. So if you look at life as setbacks and hardships as gifts and opportunities for growth and openness, you’re going to be OK, right? Even if it hurts, right? Is Very, very good advice because people get so caught up in what’s next, what’s next? What do you [inaudible] how you could do that and you can’t get that far. No, I have no plan. That’s what I really play on my poor husband. Sometimes I try some nuts because he’s like, can I just get you to think about this or this or that’s why I’m like, no deal off script.

I don’t care about that. Just to tell us how does he deal? Well, I married my perfect compliment. I married my brother’s best friend. I’m four years older. I’ve known him since he was in second grade. He’s calm, he’s measured, he’s practical, he’s everything. I’m not. So we’re a team and as a team we sort of steer the ship like he grounds me in ways that are very important. And um, you know, like we say, he’s the boss of practicality and logic and I’m the boss of fun aesthetics. So I make the house really pretty and fun and he makes it function sort of how I go over there and he grounds me. I mean, and I made that mistake. I think before finally accepting the fact that I was going to marry my brother’s best friend is like, I dated all these like clowns as my dad would have called them who like had equal energy, a different energy or tried to stifle my energy and didn’t let me be me. He lets me be me. He doesn’t celebrate every aspect of me, that’s for sure. But he lets me be me and we just, we’re just such a team. I mean, I, I say that I don’t even know how I would function without them. I mean we’re a team. We certainly wouldn’t eat because he cooks.

That’s funny. I like that. I think that’s really genius. Oh my gosh. I don’t know if he wants to be described as my lead, but he definitely. He does the cooking. Yeah. I don’t like, I like to play with food, to eat food. I don’t want to cook it anymore. I do. So I say I don’t cook like I made the most insane St Patrick’s Day cupcakes ever. Um, but, so I play with food and I, and I decorate with food and not even a good baker but like what I’ve learned tricks. So like I just instead of like, I’m not good with frosting but. So I just like dip them in the sprinkles so it looks like this beautiful, beautiful green grass with this rainbow candy with little pots and leprechauns and Patek. I mean like I can play with food. Right. But that’s about it. Decorate the food and I, I’m a good decorator. Right, right, right, right, right. And in the kids, like who takes after who I would say, so my, it’s tricky. My, they’re still, their personalities are still evolving. My daughter is um, well we took the dance competition in the Brownie girl scout freaky Friday dance last week and that made me so proud because I’m like, oh yeah, she’s got my moves.

My hope is good.

I mean just like, we’ll drop it like it’s hot without abandoned regardless of the fact that you’re off cue off beat in so many ways. Um, she’s really sensitive, really dramatic. A really like, interesting personality, really creative. She’s a sensitive kid, which you know, like you have to learn to manage that as a human being. I’m highly sensitive and I learned to channel that through creativity and fitness, so I’m going to have to give her tools to channel that sensitivity. She’s an awesome little kid. My son James is stubborn as hell. I’m wait for. He’s. He just turned six. I was just trying to get super stubborn and cracked me up. Yesterday he was playing a lot of video games and then subsequently we were painting and doing art and I’m like, you’re such a talented artists. Like if you did less video games, you could be doing more of this arm. So proud of you. He’s going to be an art show. One of his pieces was featured and he’s like, yeah, mom. But the video games gives me inspiration.

OK, you’re 60 little conniver.

He just got glasses and he’s just so cute. I’m going to squeeze on. Um, and then my baby, who was our sandy baby accident, wrote about him in the New York Times. The best accident that ever happened. He’s four and a half. He’s brilliant. He’s weirdly smart, like I don’t even know who his brother will be doing his homework and he’s like, it’s 80.

Whoa.

So kind like he brought his preschool teacher 10 bucks because he thought she could use the money. I just want to know your little sweetie brought me 10 bucks and he brought me a, a little pumpkin and I was like, oh, I don’t even know. He’s bringing new president. He has. He’s a wad of cash. They have a lot of cash murphy’s. They have shared because they realized that they could buy more together with their little pod of loot. So it’s like rubber banded together and it’s like probably like 700 peeled off 10 big ones for his teacher. That is so adorable. I’m so proud of my family and I love my kids more than the world. I know it’s crazy. Even when they’re always telling seth about this, even when they’re older, like my kids are in their twenties and thirties now. Actually they’re. My daughter just turned 30 so they’re all in their thirties now. I can ever think in my head that they’re in their thirties and they didn’t get really ticked at me. That’d be like, Ma, I’ve got my doctorate in education, I know what I’m doing. And I’m like, I don’t care. That’s not how going to take this down.

You don’t, you can’t process it or maybe it’s just me because a lot of my friends can. I guess they said, Oh, well they’re adults. They can do what they want. No, I have a, maybe it’s just being an Irish time processing it some straight so they can start to try to tell me how to do stuff with my kids. Like you had your chance. Sorry, step back like they have. They all have children and um, my third son is having his third child and I stepped back. I try not to say too much because I don’t want to be that mother in law that mother and I taught myself to be like, oh Whoa, whoa, that’s cool. So cool. One of the grandparents, that generation, they’re, they’re a little more nervous now. Like, Oh, you gotta wait a minute. I was out of the house for hours at a time.

You didn’t know where I was worried about my kids. I free for two seconds. It’s hilarious though like that. It’s a great story. He said to his, because he was saying something about his sons. This is it that you bought us a motorcycle and we’re like nine years old, trigger now. You’re worried about my kids. Are you kidding? He was because he doesn’t want to answer to your wife. That’s how it works and they don’t remember that amni-sure I d, I did that. It’s like, yeah, you did break. When I’m with my grandkids, honest to God, I have five grandkids and they’re all adorable and I love them all to tears and I’m the crazy. One of them actually told their school teacher my name is crazy and was a good way though, like, oh my God, don’t do that or don’t do this because I’m afraid they’re gonna get hurt on my watch and so I’m going to be the one responsible and my kids jump from the building. I mean, what’s wrong with you? And I’m like, I’m not going to be one of your kids that you feel like, oh, this is the one I got really keep an eye on because they’re going to do a little more risk takers. I get my daughter’s going to be a handful, a handful. I’m not gonna lie. My teenage years were a little rough, weren’t they all? So I feel like because I see so much of me and her emotional little drama, suddenly I’m embarrassing, you know, a little bit in second grade.

And I just think boys are different. My boys are just easy breezy, like stubborn and a little bit feisty and physical sometimes where I’m like, OK, get him out of a headlock. Right? But I think they’re going to be pretty smooth sailing and I’m probably gonna have to spend some extra time with my girl boys. Boys are better until they hit teens. And I use this, I say to my daughter in law’s now and they were great until they hit 13. I don’t know what happened after that and I have no responsibility, but boys are the kinds. You just kind of pop them in the back of the head, say, knock it off. They’re fine, they’re happy, they’re going to do that to your daughter, and they look at you for the rest of your life and he know did it. What time? What’s your. What’s your breakdown? I have three sons and a daughter. Yeah, I’ll be. I’ll be having the same stitch girls. She’s wild. Going to have to get stitches

or breaks something. God forbid. My boys are easy to say. Oh, she has to be tough because she’s older brothers. Yeah. That’s just who she is. There soft. My Boys, they are. They’re soft. I gotta toughen him up. Took my son to taekwondo. He’s like, yeah, this is fun. He knows he has these temples, so it’s like he does something and then he’s like, he just flashes and he knows he’s cute. Come on. A little boy with glasses and examples can do no wrong in my show. Does your daughter work your husband? My husband is a tough cookie, but he has a soft spot for her. He’s got girls couldn’t always like. So last night she had the checklist of things she had to do during the snowstorm to earn slime making and she had checked everything off the list. Of course it’s like 9:00 by the time everything is checked off the list and she’s earned her slime. So the first batch doesn’t come out great and she’s devastated. She doesn’t make good slime. She wants to be a psychologist. She’s going to campus summer and I’m like, sorry, time for bed. And my husband’s like, let’s just google one more recipe.

Really? So, but with Borax, I refuse to use borax and the glitter glue, we never is the right consistency. I mean, my daughter even wrote a play about slime. Like this is how obsessed she has. We’re going to slam camp. There’s a slime can creative kids in Scotch plains. There’s a slime camp this summer. We’re going to there saying I will. I’m gonna find out it’s, it’s not in my house. And so tell us what’s going on at work, what’s going on? We have. Well, we just shipped. So we finished the May. I get so confused because we were three months ahead of time. I get so confused. We fit. So the May issue is out the door. Now we’re working on June, so sometimes it gets confusing because by the time it is June, I’m already back to school. Like my brain is on September.

So yeah, it’s hard when you’re trying to be present and you’re working three months ahead of time, let me tell Ya. Um, but it’s like non-stop activity. There’s always something fun and new happening at good housekeeping. I, it’s, it’s, uh, my husband calls it candy land. He’s like, Oh, you have cancer, you go into candy land today because he’s like, can just, can’t believe so much fun and excitement and newness happens every single day. Oh, that is so awesome. Yeah, that is very, very cool. So what’s next? Like what is it you want to do? Do you have any? Like I want to jump out of a plane. I don’t want to do that. Um, you know what, to tell you the truth, I really don’t think about it. OK.

So crazy. Because I feel like, and some people have like those vision boards and you’re supposed to put it out there. I put everything out there all day long and then I just assume that good things will somehow, to me, I have this sort of, this mantra of like, be the good you want to see in the world. Like put the energy out there and then you will attract the energy you need. I mean we will as I get like, I like, I definitely feel like, like if you’re open the right things come to you. I agree with [inaudible]. People are like, seth and I are um, we’re going to be taken a little hiatus from here and we’re looking for a new place to go. Looking for a new studio and see. People are like, are you worried? I’m like, now, yeah, I’m studio in the house.

They say, no there, are you worried? I’m like, no, we have, we’ve had like a million opportunities. We’re just looking for the right one. We want to be someplace where it’s very cool and women feel welcome and there’s a lot going on. But um, they’re like, aren’t you worried and concerned like, no, it’ll happen, worry, doubt and fear are a complete waste of time. I mean, we all do it, but you have to kind of like, you have to take it and get rid of it because it’s just, well, so we, my daughter has some worry, some problems with worrying. We put, we made on the wall, we put this line and above it you can put everything that you can control, that you’re worrying about and below it, anything you can’t control and basically the only thing you can’t control as the weather. So that is the only thing you have any legitimate time worrying about everything else you can control. Right, right, right, right. That’s school yesterday because it wasn’t happening. So we, we’ll start acting class was canceled.

We can’t appreciate. We really appreciate you coming in. Super Fun. Super. Because yesterday we had to cancel or we had to postpone until today. So we really, really welcome you and are happy that you came in to see us. And is there any big tip that you want to give women out there? Because there’s a lot of women out there that’ll call her. We get a lot of letters. In fact, I got one this morning that we have to read, but I’m be like, how did you get the life? Or how do you get that job? Or I can’t do that, or I can’t do that, and I hear it over and over and over and over from women and I don’t believe that. I’m sorry. What do you suggest to people tell women? They say, well, wow, meg, you’ve got the life. You’ve got the job.

You’ve always had this. You’ve always said that you’ve always done what? Yeah, well, I think the key is I’ve always followed my passion and I think that I’ve always taken the crap and stride. I mean, it’s not like I’ve had an easy life. I’ve had some real doozies of, of tough experiences and I think those tough experiences of. I mean I lost my best friend when I was 16. Again, not to get all gloom and doom, but I think that it helps you really kind of take stock in what really matters and it helps you kind of re prioritize and focus. Um, and I think like maybe what you think you want isn’t what you need, right? Like, I want this, I want this, I want this. Well, why, why is that what you’re going to really make you happy? And I think that you have to kind of listen to your gut, trust your intuition.

Unfortunately I had to lay someone off and you know, she just got a new job today and she said, thank you because you know what? She was in the wrong job. Right? And when you open yourself up to more possibilities, take chances, take risks what you think you want, what you think you need might not be what is actually best for you. Right? Right, right, right. That’s again, if you would have said to me 10 years ago, you’re going to be the executive editor of good housekeeping and you’re going to be going on the today show and live with Kelly and La. I wouldn’t have thought that was my future or my life is because I couldn’t have predicted it. Then why should I try to predict where I’ll be in five years or five minutes? Right now? It’s. I think that there’s too much evidence.

Emphasis on what’s next, what’s next, what’s next? It’s always constantly in everybody’s mouth and I would also say that people are like, I can’t believe how much you do. How do you, how do you fit it all in? How can you do so much? And the truth is I don’t really waste a lot of time thinking about how do I find it is so easy to be like I couldn’t possibly do that I couldn’t possibly do. There is no time will you just wasted like a good seven to 10 minutes worried about why you couldn’t do something that could have spent that spent doing it. I agree. Right? So it’s like five, 10, 17, right? I mean like the. That’s the key. The key times. Well thank you Megan. You’re going to stay and you’re going to sit through some of our stuff, but tell everybody where they can find you. So I’m mostly active on instagram and that is at Megan with all the letters. M, e a, g h a n B A, b Murphy, m U R P h y at a. well, just what it is. Megan Murphy and I’m. I’m also on facebook and I run the best field for Westfield, New Jersey. Facebook and instagram and I’m on twitter, but hardly ever.

Twitter’s kind of. You’re in the Westfield, facebook, Westfield, Westfield, Westfield, a page. I went in on a couple of weeks ago and yeah, we just call the cops on me because I’m just shovel because it turned to ice, the sidewalks and I was out there shoveling. The branches were falling, so I decided not to risk my life for the sidewalk and then they called the cops on me. Wow. That’s a great neighbors. Five years had been shoveling. You know, I missed one time. I don’t go on the actual westfield pages. It’s too negative. Oh my God. As far as field New Jersey, which is a love letter to the town and it is only good vibes. I’m going to try. I’m going to see if I can join. If you’ll let me. Will See. Excellent. It’s not, it’s a page you don’t have to join. You can just follow for good news. Enjoy. Cause I hate negative energy that we never do negative title.

When we come back we’re going to have, um, the news. It’s going to be headlines in headaches, but we want to thank you again, Megan for coming by. Planning in there will be back.

So one tough mother podcast. We’ll talk with amazing women who have worked their way to the top and want to share their real life lessons with you. And we’re back and we’ve got headaches

and headline. Tough brothers said, take it away. It’s a big one. As the Cambridge analytica scandal. I’m sure most people follow

the story, uh, regarding facebook, sharing all information. Um, it’s funny, Melissa is always saying to me, Alexis on, in her house, like the listen to everything we say and still in the box. I refuse to take it out. You can unplug it, you know, and then I don’t think it works with them when it’s unplugged, but uh, and this, this was not surprising to think people were really, you know, follow social media, everything. We know that it’s all about data. The, that’s the big thing for business right now is collecting data. I mean it’s what Google does as what Amazon’s doing and that’s what facebook is doing. So it’s not that surprising just it’s, it’s good that this has come out and you know, I think he’s trying to, Zuckerberg’s trying to do the right thing by it now that he’s caught, I guess you should say, but I’m not that surprised by people who don’t really have anything to hide. It shouldn’t really. I like Melissa gets upset about it. I don’t. I was like, all right,

well, you know what, I’m not surprised by it, but what I am not, and I’m not going to say surprised. I’m not surprised by. But what I was upset about was how they can harvest things from so many different channels and happy. Like there’s stuff out there about you that you have no idea that you sent to somebody privately or you know, and nothing’s ever private online. Remember I tell my kids this, I’ve told him this their whole life because my kids grew up online. I say to them when you type it and push enter, it’s there forever. It lives and breathes forever. You can say you delete it, you can say this, you can say that somewhere. Went through some central server somewhere and it’s always easily found. I’m trying to imagine like what information I have on facebook that I would care about.

Like I keep going. I’m like, would I care about that? I posted it. Who cares if he did a private message to one of your friends? Like I don’t say anything to anyone that I wouldn’t say publicly either. Me Like I’m such an open book so that I like I’m listening to this, listening to this all over the news and this and I’m like, I just don’t know. I mean my social security number, I guess if I’ve typed but I haven’t typed that into facebook somewhere somewhere. So like that kind of thing, like financial information, stolen identity stuff scares me. I lost my license in the airport.

Well here’s an interesting part of it too, like this is something that you and I could worry about is the scandal broke out on reddit over deep deep fakes, which is the technology using artificial intelligence to digitally insert celebrities in a pornographic videos using nothing more than a still photo. That’s what’s terrifying. Ebola, God forbid our kids or something,

right? Oh my God, I didn’t mean that much.

I’m just saying like, you know, what people are capable of. It’s a little scary and we, you know, w were parents with young children now trying to navigate this new world and you know, social media and computers and smartphones and like, you know, being able to manage that stuff.

It’s a little daunting task. I’m very public. I mean, I, you know, I’m working in magazine, I’m on television. I posted all the time and it is my, my, my husband is much more conservative than me and is always like don’t post that. Don’t post that. We’d go on vacation. He’s like, this is just an advertisement that you were away, like, come on, don’t post on post on post. And I’m kind of like. But I did see it too. I’m on social media

and I have a huge following and my kids have already asked me do not post. I do not post the pictures. I rarely, I’m not going to say, dude, I rarely post pictures of my grandchildren. Rarely where I used to do a lot. Now that my following is so large, I do not do it. I don’t really post where I live, what town, because my son is a police officer and he’s like, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t think you should be putting out what town you’re in. So I’m a little bit leery that way. A little bit more cautious that way. But I mean if you want it to go backwards and look at this stuff I posted five, six years ago, you’d still find you’d find it.

Well, uh, I worked with a security expert, that charismatic name Paul by all this. He’s on CBS TV a lot for national security stuff, but also for things like that. He said you don’t post pictures on vacation, you just just like your husband. He’s like, he could wait to get back [inaudible],

but then as my thing is like, I’ll post them on our back and you’re going gonna rob me while I’m home. We’re not allowed in her home because they think I’m on vacation. So if you do.

No, if it’s dated or wherever they want and you know. No, I know you’re saying people, they want the cars and the lights on. They want an easy target. That’s why. That’s the whole thing about.

I live a block from the police station, which always brings me comfort. Good girl. Keeps saying the names. That’s a park close to dress any way. When what really bothered me too about this article, and it bothers me still because you know I owned an in house marketing agency in Advertising Agency for over 20 years, so I came from television, radio, all my life. The virtual reality human being bothers me. Smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirror, smoke and mirrors. I mean, the whole, wow. I have 2,000,000 followers, smoke and mirrors, smoking, mirror, smoke and mirrors. Stop, you know, unless they, there’s a lot of interaction like we have, we do get a lot of interaction from our listeners. Um, it’s, it’s tough. So social media is, you know, a lot of it is. So smoking mirrors, because I came from media, so you know, you must see it like you, you’ve got, you’ve got legitimate subscribers though.

Oh Gosh, yeah. Yeah. And do you have a heart? You cannot possibly have a hard time finding advertisers and your mag? Do you mean the business is changing? But I mean, of all the magazines we have such an incredible reputation. People Trust, good housekeeping and advertisers know they’re speaking to a really captive audience online. Oh yeah. We have good housekeeping [inaudible]. We’re on Instagram, we’re on facebook. We’re all over the place where everywhere our readers want to be. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. So anyway, to this, to the point of the story, um, what do you think seth? I mean,

well, and also, you know, it could have affected the presidential election. I mean, the data that’s out there, the artificial data, it’s, it’s mind blowing a little bit if you, if you think about it too much, you can make yourself crazy. I tend to not worry about something I can’t control. Well,

you know, we’re not starting with on a personal level. Yeah, we’re not stopping it. Social media is here. I mean the Internet’s here, the connectivity

of the world is here. We’re not stopping it. So we need to either figure out how to regulate a little bit or we have to be proactive as human beings and as, as people in the world and regulated ourselves. And it was like people were calling for the end of facebook and I think that’s sort of dramatic. I mean, think about what it does for small business. Think about what he does, you know, for, for people’s social lives. I think there’s a lot of positive that facebook does do and you can always take a, take a detox. Don’t listen to easy choices are going to move on. Yeah. Times. You should always say no to your kid.

According to Laura Markham here that sometimes we say no to much to our kids and it could have lasting damage, but there are definitely scenarios when she’d never be afraid to tell a kid. No, I think, uh, I think what we live. Some people don’t tell their kids. No, that’s just my opinion. I see a lot of people in the store. They don’t tell their kids now, but just what I see. Um, so let’s, let’s go over some of these real quick. Ah, some of the times you should never see another kid to this first one might sound obvious, but for me this is a big one in the parking lot. You always have to hold hands with your kids. I mean, I, I remember one time, uh, last summer I pull up to the beach in my, uh, he was like three at the time. He hopped out and started and it was a company kind of parks, diagonal. He started to go and I just, I reached, I grabbed his arm because there’s, you can’t see the cars can’t really, can’t see the cars in the scary things even might say, climbed out of the stroller once when I was talking to the neighbors and started going in the street and I barely, you know, I just instinctively grabbed the arm quickly. It’s, it’s a hooded sweatshirt. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. We, we’re very, we’re very tough with the parking lot. I mean, that’s, that sounds like an obvious one, but oh my God, it’s a nightmare. It’s a whole other context. Could be a whole show on just the trader Joe’s parking lot. If your kids hurting other kids, you know, are hurting pets or something, you know, you, that’s a, you’ve got to stop them from doing that. You know, my two year and a half year old daughter beats up the voice isn’t going to stop because you know, everyone treats their pets while or ever would think so. But that’s not always the case. If you’re witnessing, you’re taking part in bullying obviously. I try. Well, sometimes he provokes her, which is like, hey dude, you kinda stop poking the bear because you’re going to get smacked. Other times we tell her you don’t hit your brother, but she’s also two and a half so it’s hard to reason with your two and a half year old, but we try, we try as much as possible so yell at her and she’ll come and she put her head down and she saw me that Ah, ah, oh yeah, totally.

We thought bullying obviously. Either way through getting bullied or bullying, you know, you gotta really sometimes as a parent, right. You have to kind of step back and if you call out your kid, if your kid’s doing something wrong to, you don’t want your kid to be the bad kid, but it happens to find it not in front of their friends to. I try not to embarrass my kids because I think that’s an effective, effective, ineffective. Yeah. Right. Agree. Yeah. You don’t wanna embarrass your kid. So that’s going to work hard on teaching empathy to and sort of teaching my kids like what do you think that made them feel like, how did it make you feel? And just sort of trying to get them to understand. We just do guilt. We wasted.

Kids don’t have food for kids who are strong personal property. Right. So far these are obvious obvious because undressing in public. Well yeah. Duh. Undressing in public. OK. Like taking off all their phones. Take your pants off now. Yeah. You got your shirt off and pants. Snacks to lose the diaper and now I’ll just go to the bathroom on the tire. It’s OK. This is kind of misbehaving in a restaurant. Obviously. This is the absolute worst daughter. Yeah.

I try not to leave. Take her out unfortunately. Um, yeah you have to. You have to stop your kids though. But again, a two and a half year old. Kind of tough to stop on airplanes.

Come on. I was hoping some of these will be a little more surprising to me to don’t find myself wrestling with yes versus no in any of these scenarios. I’m a clear no,

I’m with you when you teach them about strangers. It’s the most adults are trustworthy, but it’s more applicable here. If you’re Charles is alone without a trusted adult or when you’re leaving your child alone. Please

parent of the year. Let’s discuss. Give us a call on that one, right?

This is something that you think is obvious, but you do have to hammer this point. Home. Children need to be told that they should never, under any circumstances go home with someone they don’t know or if any adult the parent hasn’t given them express permission to be.

Did you ever see that show on tv where the. They set the kids up and then somebody goes up and talks to him and the tear 20 kind of shop behind three parents sitting there, whatever. The one guy, the one guy was a cop and it was his daughter and they had like these contract cop, hey, free ice cream. Come on and when you want to see what the. It’s, it happens when we get in the truck and see what the ice cream looks like when it’s, you know, how are we doing the ice cream, his daughter, and he’s like, you just see the guy sweating. Huge bullets and he’s sitting there watching this. He started, got to the truck and looked in and went no, and then turned around and went back in. The other two girls got in because she was with her friends and she just made that like that was the decision that her parents hammered into her head. No, I don’t care. But I think the key too is you have to play out scenarios. I mean, I’ve played out every scenario’s. If so and so neighbor asked you to come into your house, what are you saying? If so and so pulled up in

front of a car and Mommy didn’t know about it or, or the babysitter what, what do you say? Like I have gone through every like crazy pants scenario so that my kids know how they would react in any possible fathomable situation because I’m a Weirdo about that. Those lessons. There were some kids doesn’t want is for somebody of my mom’s hurt come off, all my kids know my phone number, my four year old is like knows my phone number of recites it. Like it’s part of the bedtime routine is what’s your address? What? My Mommy’s phone number. What would you say like.

I’m like good, good, good, good. Especially because my husband, I were talking about this, there is no house phones anymore. So how like what’s the kid going to do? An emergency. We need to invent like an emergency button for homes to just. We’re here to talk to you about that too. My husband would love to talk to you about that. He tells everyone it’s like he should be like making commission because he’s obsessed with cutting the cord. Now your husband. Definitely the last one is it couldn’t break an agreement you made to spend time with someone just because you got a better offer. Superior. OK. Well here’s the one that I wanted to add to this when I was painting this. OK. So I kept thinking about this. People that let their kids join sporting events or boy scouts, girl scouts, whatever, the event, social event, and then let them quit because I don’t like it.

It’s not fun. No. In my house, if you want it to join a rope climbing and you got there and you couldn’t climb the rope and he hated it and I can’t do it and I don’t want to go. You’re finishing out the season. You were recommending it on teaching commitment. I shit the bed on this one. This is my daughter signed up for dance and it was a full year commitment. I paid for the costume at the end of the year, the whole thing. We made it until December and I let her quit and it was a really tough decision. It was. She was miserable and I felt like she was overextended in general, like too many activities and it was, she, she really hated it and my husband and I went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth because we’re such finish what you start people. But it was a full year commitment and I just couldn’t stand to see her so long, timeframe wise.

And, and she just, what we discovered is she loves to dance but not choreographed organized dance, right. Like she’s doing an organized dance kind of thing now with her brownie troop or a girl scout troop and she doesn’t like the choreography. She just wants to freestyle, which I fully respect and get. Um, and that was the one, the one I like still have questioned myself on that one when I got the, a hundred and $50 costume that we won’t be wearing. I was like, put that in the dress up in nothing like green neon feathers. But you know, again, it was a year. That’s all, that’s the thing and the wrong thing. Right. You did it once and that’s what my husband and I sort of the germination, like it was too much of a commitment. We learned the lesson. We’re not going to sign up for anything for a full year ever again. We got to test the waters. She had never done a dance class in her life and we signed on for a year.

Big Mistake. Right, right, right, right. Well, I think that that’s a great idea. I mean, I think at that point done. So anyway, I’m going to get to um, a letter that we got this morning and I’m going to probably be choppy with this one, but I’m going to, I’m going to try to get this out. How I was surprised to get this. I heard a little bit about it last week from a friend of mine. I’m just. Bran is a friend of mine. She has a podcast called drinks with jess and she asked me about this because she knows these people and then I got this this morning. So David Gibson, Smith family’s hoping a new $5,000 reward will tempt anyone who knows anything about the 28 year old disappearance to come forward. So I guess in August sixth, he, um, took a trip from South Jersey into Maryland to visit a friend and um, that was the last he was seen or heard from and there was like a lot of extenuating circumstances and actually date line has been following this and his name again is David Gibson Smith and he was in Maryland and he was driving a blue Toyota Camry, which they’ve already recovered.

But um, when they couldn’t get in touch with him and his phone was off or maybe it ran out of cell battery or whatever the case is that get really concerned. And if anybody knows anything about this, this guy, please look him up online. It’s David and it’s Gibson. It’s a g, P, s o n Smith and his parents and his family. And it of full circle. Back to what I was saying earlier, when they’re your kids, it doesn’t matter if the [inaudible], if there’s a, if there’s, you know, 58 or your children and his mother is extremely distraught and I said to my girlfriend when she talk to me about it, I would absolutely mention it and say that if you know something, please, I’m contacted. It’s called the Howard County Police Department and um, you know, maybe you can, if you’re in the Maryland area, if you’ve seen him, he’s six foot four. They say he, he’s noticeably, you know, he’s handsome, he’s somebody you’d notice and you’ve heard anything about it, but it’s been quite some time. It’s been since August, so I hope they find this kid.

It’s scary. And I told you I have a cousin who’s a, it’s been missing for quite awhile since December from Florida and kind of disappeared on his family.

Oh, I forgot about that. I’m so sorry. Not Feeling yet. Do you have struggles with addiction or any kind of mental illness?

There’s a little, a little like none of the addiction part, but a little bit of mental, like he was acting strange and it seems like, but it seems a little premeditated too at the same time. So like, I don’t think he’s,

yeah, there’s a lot of weird things here. Well, David was, he was definitely a recovering, um, you know, he had some addiction issues and his parents are wonderful people. They thought he was doing much, much better and he went on this little trip from South Jersey. Did Marilyn, you know, I hate it because the first words out of my mouth when I was talked to about this was did he have problems with drugs and alcohol? It almost like people are like, Whoa, that doesn’t mean we’re still missing them. And I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just like one of those who rule out like, was he abducted by aliens or is there some other backstory to give some clarity to the situation if someone wanted to walk away, they can only say I’m walking away. I said, please don’t. He’s 28 years old. Maybe he just wanted to walk away, but that’s so wrong.

I mean look at the mother is tortured by this. The father. The families were the worst, you know, this is my cousin left behind a wife and two kids and then nothing still right. You’ve never heard another word about anything. I’m close with his sister and I follow up with her. Mom’s been looking for him and you have little clues here and there, but nothing panned out. Well I hope they find him and I are definitely. They find him and I hope that they find David Gibson Smith. Look it up on the web and you can hear it. Read a little bit about it and if you know anything about it, please let us know. And when we get back, we’re going to do males in to brother says here with the mail,

the one tough mother podcast. We’ll talk with amazing women who have worked their way to the top and want to share their real life lessons with you. And again,

Megan had to leave because she had a meeting, but we had Megan Murphy here, the, um, executive editor of good housekeeping magazine and she was amazing. What an amazing, amazing interview. I didn’t ask her any of the questions I had written up because she was great. Man. She just, she’s very, very, um, open. She tells you everything you want to hear, everything you’d want to know, which is cool. I love that about people. Like she really just came for real talk and that’s what we are anyway. So all I have to say right now is males in I

know rye, males in email number one, do one tough mother or seven year old son. Evan is a blonde haired, blue eyed, blonde hair, brown eyed bully. He calls the girls in this class ugly and fat to the point that they cry. The little girl’s mother’s called the teacher to complain and the teacher calls us today. We got a call from his teacher who told us our son called his classmate a kid. He tells us as his friend, stupid. We don’t even allow the word stupid at home. When my husband confronted [inaudible] about calling his friend stupid, Evan said, well, he is. Then he proceeded to tell my husband and I that he gets special help for math. OK. Evan is an only child and we spend an enormous amount of time with him. We have always talked to them about what is and what is not acceptable behavior, so I have no idea where it comes up with all this. We’ve taught him not to call names or pick on others because there are different, but for some reason he is now doing the complete opposite. Before Evan starts behavior, are we still at the that blues were from homes where the child was either neglected or abused in some way. I certainly have a different opinion now. I have no idea how it could be so mean spirited at such a young age. I didn’t think kids his age at such meanness and them

my husband and I talk to them, ask them if something is bothering them, if anyone in school or after school care is mean to him and he says no. At this point we were considering punishment because we don’t know what else to do help. Like she thought it believes or whatever. The cases that they had a um, they must be experiencing that at home. They’re there, you know, from a bad family or are more likely. Right? Are troubled family more likely. That’s what I always thought. But then, um, I don’t know for some reason, every once in awhile one of your kids will just get a mean streak and I don’t know if it’s something they’ve seen or something they’ve been exposed to or I don’t know. I, you just going to have to stay on top of the kid and really, really maybe give a lesson on empathy and like, how would you feel if this was this and how would you feel if that was that?

No, you absolutely have to at this point, how old did they say, here’s my thing. I don’t know if we have all the facts here. Have access to a computer or phone or a tablet. Do you to have conversations that maybe are a little abrasive to each other’s parents is, you know, parents argue and maybe you don’t think he hears you, but maybe he does. She said after school care or aftercare, so that must be after school is are there kids bullying other kids and he’s watching it. Just because you asked him doesn’t mean you’re getting the whole story meet. Want to talk to the teachers and the people at aftercare to see. Get a vibe for how these kids are behaving. I agree with you a hundred percent because the teachers are obviously calling her and saying calling her husband and saying something’s going on with this kid, but did you.

Did you talk to anybody? Aftercare care is usually a. I would think it’s a learned behavior and that’s the point you’re making, so kids just coming out with it. Unless he has some kind of a mental issue himself or maybe he’s angry about something that happened to him at score or in aftercare or whatever the case is. Sit and talk to the kid and yes, if it’s getting out of hand and he’s not listening to yes, you’re gonna have to punish him. You know, there has to be consequences for things. People. People forget that, you know, consequence. Children have to learn sometimes to consequences so you’ll have to talk to him and if he doesn’t want to listen up and you better do something about it. So let’s move on to email number two, zero one. That’s one tough mother for those who are not acronym friendly.

Seventeen and a complete hypochondriac. She’s a beautiful girl, smart as a whip and very friendly. However she goes on, she goes the more doctor’s appointments in a month and my 73 year old mother. My sister is constantly driving here from here to there for this and that and doesn’t appear to think it’s odd. When I mentioned to amy, my sister that I thought I was becoming obsessive. My sister got very annoyed. She says they are worried because he hasn’t felt well since she tested positive for lyme disease two years ago. The deployments or just to be sure iris doesn’t relapse. Relapse, I don’t even remember her being sick from what I knew she tested positive for funding a tick and how to on an antibiotic. I know it’s none of my business, but I wonder if all this worry will affect the iris in some odd way. What are your thoughts?

I think that um, hypochondria is a learned behavior as well. I think people get crazy about this stuff and I’m, the mother is obviously toting around doing all this stuff. So [inaudible] do you. How do you feel? Is it an only child? It doesn’t say, I was going to say maybe it’s the only challenge. He’s like, we are concern, you know, uh, it gets, it becomes obsessive. I have a couple of friends that are actually hypochondriacs and they admit they are hypochondriacs and if they get obsessed with something and they have to have reassurance over and over and over and over and over and over. So, um, yeah, this could be a pattern and my kid had it, but there’s different levels of, uh, two does. I don’t know if this aunt has all the information, maybe maybe she’s overreacting to it. Um, you know, she tested positive for lyme disease two years ago and that would freak me out as a parent to uh, Eh, maybe there’s something to this, but it’s also, you know, give your sister a little bit further down the trust her.

That’s her kid. Let her, why is it bothering you so much? She said, I noticed that on my business, but it might affect ours in some way, but, you know, at a certain point it’s somebody else’s kid. No, I actually lived through this because I made some controversial choices with my kids and um, yeah, I don’t want to get into it. So that’s personal. But um, it’s not, you know, I don’t want to make this about me, but you know, and I’ve gotten some pushback from my family and I said, I said I made what I thought was the best choice for me and my family period. So I imagine amy is doing the same for her daughter. So you can look at this, look at this two ways. I know it’s tough when you get these letters are one way and we don’t always have all the facts.

So it’s easy to get that answer. Yeah. How do I feel about hypochondriacs? My, you know, my 10 year old’s a hypochondriac. So yes, a little bit, you know, everything’s like, you know, he gets a little. Well because he’s the oldest so maybe he’s not getting as much attention so it’s possible. Um, and even when he goes to his dad’s house, this is my step son, so he’s also as two younger siblings there, so he’s always the oldest, maybe not getting as much attention as possible. Um, but I think you look at this a couple of different ways. So thank you for bringing out that point. I’m like, all right, figure it out, you know, take her to a couple more doctors in my son had lyme disease and it was very, very serious, you know, don’t get, don’t get crazy because it can be debilitating and crippling. He clearly remembers being able to see and then like the next day couldn’t save. Let’s move on to email number three. Dear one. Tough mother. My husband Jack wants to go on a cruise and I hate to go on vacation. That’s a red flag. I can’t sleep in a disgusting bed in a hotel, use a strange bathroom or eat from a kitchen. I have never seen. Wow.

It has never been an issue in our marriage before because we have never had the money to go on vacation, but now the kids are grown and we’re doing better financially. Jack really wants to get away and I don’t blame Jack, so I just added that. I’ve told them I don’t want to go and sit for him to take a friend or a sister. She would really love to go, but he refuses. That’s weird. That was me again, to insist that this is something he really wants us to do together and even though he understood he knows how I feel, how do I get them to understand as a couple, you got to this compromises as a couple. The only way it works to be a couple is to compromise. If this is something really important to Jack,

go on a vacation with Jack. I’m sorry. I’m getting a little angry. Go on vacation with Jack. Came out of that comfort zone is he doesn’t want to go with his sister on a cruise. That’s disgusting. OK, go with your husband, you know, unless like you got some real about this. Let’s have some real phobia like this is something that’s going to be damaging to your health. Suck it up and do this for Jack and you might surprise yourself.

Take yourself out of your own comfort zone and do this for your. Do you love your husband? Do something for him. I’m sure he would do something for you that you wanted to do and going on vacation is probably the best thing ever, you know, and maybe figure out what you want to do and where you want to go.

Their next. Get a glass of wine or a bottle of wine or a case of wine. Have a couple of drinks, just chill. And if you don’t wait, first of all, this comes from a world traveler my whole life. OK? And I’ve slept in more hotels than I slept at home. I’m sure. So blanket, take precautions blanket and wrap up in it. Bring your own pillow case. I mean, yeah, did some good, crazy bring lifestyle, bring whatever you need to bring, but go with him. He’s your husband and he’s earned it because I don’t get him to understand. Well, you need to understand how do we get you to understand that Jack wants to go on. Look, normal person. Let’s be a little. And she was a little tough love here. You know I stopped. You know what? I’m usually very nice, but this is just ticks me off.

Poor. Jackie’s raised a kid left for this way. He’s done everything he has to do with poor guy who hasn’t been on vacation since he’s [inaudible] anywhere else to go on vacation. So he wants to do is go on vacation with you to go in and hug and we’re given permission to take a different woman. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This is wrong. It’s just wrong. Well, we were. We both agree that you should try to do this for your husband, but sap is very passionate about it because he’s not been on a vacation. I launched yet and he hasn’t had his lunch, so that brings us to mother says, and holy cow, I’m not going to let him, Tony and on this one, but it says, if you want your story to big, magnificent, begin realizing you are the author. Every day is a new page, so this comes back to something that Megan said like people are always like, well, I don’t have that life or I don’t do this.

If you want your story to be magnificent, realize that every day is a new page and you’re the author. Write your story. But I saw it. I was on Linkedin. Will Smith made this video himself talking to the camera for a minute? I think maybe because I think I saw it because you liked it or commented. It’s totally about this. He’s like peels. Oh, I want to be an accurate but, but ba, stop making excuses. Just go for it. You know, don’t, don’t stop thinking of reasons why you can’t do something. Just do it. I agree that his mother says, this is the one show we had lovely Megan Murphy, executive editor of good housekeeping and we want to say thank you everybody for this thing. Our numbers are getting huge. People love us. It’s funny because that we got letters last week. We get letters, people love us, and I don’t know if it’s the addition of

Sas.

Anyway, everybody, we have a great show next week. Make sure you tune in and we’ll see you next week.

I, yeah.

 

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