Literally, fighting through life as a single Mother to put food on the table and a roof over her and her child’s heads. Let me tell you this woman wrote the book on being One Tough Muther. Heather “The Heat” Hardy is the Woman’s Boxing Champion Bantam Weight and Feather Weight, International Boxing Champion and the First Fighter to be Co-Promoted in Boxing and MMA, male or female.

Show Transcript:

The one tough mother podcast, the one tough mothers show real talk with special guests, including industry leaders, celebrities and amazing women who’ve overcome adversities to work their way to the top and are willing to share their real life lessons. Remember, you don’t have to be a mother to be one. Tough mother. It’s all about you. Welcome to the one tough mother show. Thanks for coming in today. We’re super, super excited about our guest that we have live with us in the studio. We’re actually in the new digs. Um, they were working, getting the cameras go and getting everything up. We’re super happy to hear. Be here. And Seth, what went on with you this week?

Uh, it’s. The first thing I thought about was I’m just getting Melissa break and I took three kids for the first time, just taking all three kids to the park because they had some nice weather and I just had like, this panic just flooded me [inaudible] the 10 year olds riding his bike around this big loop and he’s fine. But then my five are almost not even five year olds doing a scooter and I can’t see him, but I’m at the two year old and she’s falling down and trying to kill me and yeah. So I just had a moment of panic and then I just like, united made at work, but we had a fun day outside and you know, uh, except for the 10 year old and he smashed his name and he acted like it was broken. But then of course, like after a day it’s magically heals and it’s fine. So I love it. Yeah. But we kind of know him already enough to know when Lisa and I was telling me like, oh, they’re going give you a big needle and you know, it’s definitely gonna need surgery.

Oh my God, they’re going to cut you and the kids. I didn’t have medical insurance for awhile because I had four kids. So I would like freak about taking the hospital or doctor. Actually, my one son blames me for a disfigured leg because he cut it up really bad. So I butterflied it and he’s like, look at this. And I’m like, who sees it? It’s on your freaking leg. Who Cares? Mother the year. There you go. That’s me.

Well, it sounds like you really did him a disservice. But my kid is playing this man. So he was OK or gearing up for the fourth kid. So.

Oh Yay. When, when is that again? July. Oh my God. You’ll be me then do it for kids rocking that baby. Had this awesome, awesome story to tell you. Really quick about my weight. So I have to give a shout out to Mr Park’s it. Nisi in little ferry. It’s, he’s little ferry in New Jersey. It’s called annecy and I sai and it stands for national in home service and installation. And I’ll tell you why. So my freezer broken my Samsung refrigerator, like freaking out because like the freezer was staying cold, like it was keeping everything kind of like frozen fish. But you couldn’t put anything in, there was no ice. So like I’m calling all these people. And uh, finally Mr. Park shows up from missy shows up on a Friday night that’s far from you. A little subtle ferry to my house. Which is over by the Poconos.

  1. So he comes coolest guy in the world. Him and his assistant, they bring their tools. He looks at me, says I haven’t really worked on frigerators myself for a long time because you know, he’s like the owner I guess. So he’s like, but I’m going to do this. So he brings all his tools, brings his equipment, all everything that he has to have. And I swear to God working in my refrigerator freezer, his whole body is in the freezer, working on it, working on and working on how the band got it done. They take off their shoes when they come in there wiping everything. Oh Nice. I can’t even tell you enough about this place. And like I said, it’s a little fairy. I love this guy. They’re coming out to fix the car because I’ve got a leak and I need these guys out at my house because the cars till now I wish.

Well, you know, who knows? These kids are pretty on top of it. Little fairies. Famous for also no bounty paper towels that used to have commercials with Rosie at the diner. That’s where the diner was, and little fairy rosie, quicker picker upper. I know showing my age right now. Oh my gosh. What is going to be like? What are you talking about? Seriously? She’s probably the most famous commercial. And uh, this woman was like the bounty lady. Yeah, Rosie. And she’s working at the diner and she’s off to get my whole day. So we’ve got a great guest with us and she’s sitting right here. And let me tell you something. This was probably. This is definitely one of my favorite shows ever because I was so excited about having heather on the show. I actually walked around for days talking about it, saying heather though

harder

because that’s how stupid I am. Anyway. So let me, everybody knows I’m a super huge sports fan and I know that I’ve spent 33 years of my life sitting in the stands, football, baseball, basketball. My kids all got scholarships to college and they all played some kind of balls. So I’m a huge sports fan. My family’s huge into sports. So when heather accepted my invitation to be on my show, I was like so freaking excited at called my kids. I’m like, Oh my God, this is the coolest yet. So today’s guest, and I’m gonna, calm down now is a woman that I have great respect for and I’ll tell you why. Admiration, literally fighting through life as a single mom to put food on the table and a roof over her inner child’s head. Big For me. Let me tell you something about if this woman wrote a book, it would have to be called one tough mother. I’d have to absolutely licensed this to her. It’s with great respect and honor that I welcomed the one. Tough mothers show, the women’s boxing champion Bantam weight and featherweight international boxing champion. And the first fired be co promoted in boxing and MMA. Male or female

hearted.

Yeah, I will. Thank you for having me. Oh, you’re so thanks for coming in. I know you can’t read it at the training, right? Rushed over from, from my wrestling school. God, right. That is the best. So you have a fight coming up, right? I’ll be fighting February 16th with Bella Mohegan Sun.

I can’t wait. I’m going to be right there. Right in the front. So let’s talk about how it got started because I know how it got started, but I know a lot of people probably don’t. How’d you get started? While I was going through a divorce and I was living, I was a single mom, obviously living with my little sister who was also a single mom. Neither one of us were getting child support and I was working like six jobs. I was like the dad and my kid sister was like the mom and one day she surprised me with a gift card to go to a little karate school. So after I would do all my work, I would go like 8:00 at night and you know, the Radio Rianna when we do these classes and after three weeks they asked me if I wanted to have a fight and I thought, yeah, why not?

Like I needed something and I had my first fight and I was on Chris Algieri is undercard who was a world champion boxer and he was a world champion kickboxer at the time and I walked through a crowd of 2000 people and got in the ring and I won my first fight and it was like for the first time in my life I felt like, wow, this is what I’m supposed to do. That is so cool. Did you go to school? Yes. I have my degree in forensic psychology actually, but because I had to work quick and support my family, unfortunately you don’t get out of school with a degree and then they put you in a job. I didn’t know what to do, so I was like selling books and selling lights and I was a secretary doing online stuff so I was doing a lot of side jobs.

My degree really didn’t help me feed. My daughter didn’t do this for the paper. You don’t. You do this. Why I fight because I love it. And you’ve. When you find something you love, I think you have to exploit it for as much as you can make out of it. Right? Right, right. You definitely, you have to run with it and it’s tough. Right? I mean, you’re up against from the beginning though, heather. It’s a man’s sport, right? Well, it is a man’s sport and I say that not because fighting is a man’s sport, but because financially it’s a man’s sport. They don’t pay women to do it. And unfortunately with boxing, I mean, what’s. What’s great is we’re finally starting to see some more women get in the spotlight. You have clarissa shields, so first, you know, Olympic gold medals, two time Olympic gold medalists as a female, but it’s only 2012.

Right? That, that women were allowed to box in the Olympics, so were so many steps behind and I have so much further to go. Right, right. And they’ve got to recognize that because it is a woman’s world now it’s coming. I know. I speak to a lot of my friends and they’ll be the this world now know it’s coming. It is. I mean, I’m [inaudible] undefeated, I’m two titles and I still have to work two jobs to feed my family because boxing doesn’t pay the bills. I mean, when I was boxing I was on an undercard, um, I was 15 and now at the time and I was boxing the number two contender to defend my title and I paid about $7,000 for it. And the guy who got in ring five minutes after I walked out of it, made a hundred and $50,000 with the same record as me.

So it just goes to show like it’s not a little bit different. It’s not like a 60, 40 difference. There are tremendous differences. The fact that women, you know, we have clarissa shields now who’s headlining shows on show time. Again, it’s groundbreaking, right? Like for three years ago when I was boxing, I was the first female to be televised. And what does it mean for fighters not televise? You Think, oh, it’s no big deal, but then we don’t get sponsorships were buried on these undercard. So it’s like, not only are they not paying for us, but big sporting companies don’t want to sponsor us and help us. So you know, where these sponsors would financially help you with your training? I’m working three jobs and having to cram in a fight camp my. Whereas some guys get to have nannies, do homework with their kids and get extra rest and go to Cryo.

It’s amazing that you’ve done so much in. Take us a little bit down your background. Like what did, what did you don’t go home and say I’m going to fight. Like how does that work out? I grew up in Gerritsen beach, was a really small community in Brooklyn. Uh, basically the entire neighborhood was created by, I think one boat came over from Ireland and Shanty Irish on one little spot and we never left. We’re all about third, second and third generation Irish and I mean it’s a working class community. Like I grew up, both my parents work two jobs to support me and my brother and sister. I was like, you know what they call it a latch key kid. I went to school with the key around my shoes to ace on my neck and brought the kids home and did their homework and cook dinner.

We get ready to mommy. Daddy finally came home at night and um, when I had my daughter I realized like it was a good place to live because it’s safe as community, as family. We all know each other. Um, but there’s no growth is not promoted. Survival is promoted in the working class. They don’t tell it like no one told me that I’d be able to see the Hollywood sign one day. That was just a dream when I was a little girl. Like, wow, I wish I could. I could see that, but no one tells you you can. And so for me, I wanted to make my daughter grew up in, grew up in an environment where she realized that everything is possible with hard work and dedication. It’s so true because I was on an interview last night with another show. Someone had me as a guest and the woman asked me, what, what made you think you could do this?

And I said me because your biggest enemy is yourself. Yeah, I mean you can, you can convince yourself you could do anything or not do anything to choice, but it’s super hard when you don’t have any encouragement around you. And I feel like I would hate for my daughter to have to grow up feeling like she’s responsible for her own success or failures because as her mother, as her parent, I have to set the path for her to say like, yes, have this, but you can have all these things to expose her when you grow up in a working class community or a lower class community like they have to sports for kids, you know, girls can join girl scouts and play softball and the boys can play football or baseball. Like I now that I am here where I live now, like you go to some of these schools in the city and there’s like rugby and swimming and golf and basketball and all sorts of things are available to children whose parents can afford to give it to them.

In the little neighbor, like where I grew up, it was like, wow, we can play golf, I don’t leverage people could do that, you know, like, and I, and for me it’s about showing my daughter I want you to try all the things, try photography, try art. We didn’t have that in our school so they don’t. So those are the things they think of. Your daughter’s 13, right? She is, she’s a great kid. She’s a really sweet kid, but about as sweet as a 13 year old convenience. Yet she’s not a fighter and like as much as I know, you always want the opposite of what your parents were like. My Dad was a met fan. I got a Yankee Tattoo when I was forcing to always do the opposite of what your parents do. So fighting is probably the last thing I’ll say, oh bunny, Mommy’s, Mommy’s going to wax at the Barclay Center and I get the eye roll.

Stay at dad’s or your parents. They’re OK with all this. Like, yeah. My Dad was kind of like, he’s super old school, old school, Irish dead, you know, like stay out of the gym, stop playing her mother. But I tell you when I won my first national title as a, as a kid has an eight and not a kid, that’s an amateur. My father was front row crying, man. That’s my girl and said Beth. Wow. So, so what do you see yourself doing in the future? Keep going, right? I love to fight. So right now my focus is not my fighting career, but in the future, like how this is nothing. I love more than to teach a little girl to punch with her knuckles. I have a, I have a whole team. I, I teach lessons at gleason’s gym and that shadowbox and have a bunch of clients, but my favorite are the little girls who come in and they want to learn to punch and they want to learn to fight.

I have a little nine year old who I kind of fan correspond with her who’s a in a little boxing gym by filling and she’s the only little girl and I, my goal when I started was they had told me when I had won nationals and I won golden gloves and I did all these fights. Uh, and I said I’m going to turn pro. And all the girls were like, well, you know, you’re never to make any money out of this, so it should only be our hobby. And I, from that moment I realized I wanted to dedicate my career to having no little 12 year old girl felt like she’s wrong or out of place because she loves boxing. Right. So I mean, if I could do something with that, that I think that’d be great to write. Seth, what do you think? Oh my daughter’s two.

And she already had me in an arm bar in teacher and she doesn’t mean don’t really watch it from her. She just naturally, she wants to scrap, he wants to hit and she’s not as. She’s not, she’s still sweet, but she just likes to be physical and I’m thinking like four years old, she can start doing some [inaudible] girl can learn something because it’s fun. But you say, we’ll teach you. What do you do if someone grabs you? What you do? If someone throws you to the floor, a Pansy to the wall and it doesn’t matter if a small little girl and a big strong man when you know what to do, I’ll do. That is such great advice to my granddaughter. Relieving kickboxing, boxing. You know, like people always ask me like, you must feel like nobody can let the. Oh, you know, like because you’re so tough and you can fight and boxing and kickboxing, the confidence you get doesn’t come from knowing how to fight.

It comes from knowing what you can indoor, right? Like I always say like I can take a bigger ass than most women can ever give. So I know safe, right? And that’s what fighting teaches you. Do Jitsu actually teach you self defense and strategy and great advice, dude, I’m going to do that for my granddaughter’s. That’s great advice because every, yeah, even my grandson’s, she’d be into it. Everybody should know how to defend themselves. I just called up all the girls in my family. One of the girls that I teach, it’s just assaulted on the train and I teach her boxing and I and I felt so responsible. Like I wish I would’ve showed my boxing girls like a few self defense most. I said a big group texts. So like my aunt and my mother and I was like, pick a day girls because I know too much stuff that I would feel responsible if something bad happened to you happened recently.

Men, women, children should know how to take care of themselves if they’re ever in a situation. I mean, I truly believe that. Like, like, you know, it doesn’t matter like it could be me and you, you might be able to overpower me, but if I’m smarter at fighting then you’re not going to be able to submit me or, or we’re not going to test that out. And you know, what happens is these girls who are in their teens and they think they’re all bad-ass and they think they know what’s going on, because I had one and I remember my boys, my boys are like [inaudible] and they’re all. They were all body builders, so I would say come out and grab him from behind and hold your arms down. You don’t know how to get out of that. You know what to do. That’s what it teaches you to write it does is teaches you where to put your thumbs, how to get your elbow in, like how to turn someone’s body around, getting under their arm, behind their back.

Very small, simple movements that anyone can do. Dude, I want to do it a hundred percent. Like if I. If my daughter said to me, mommy, I’ll do one thing. I throw her in Jiu-jitsu for almost five. He started taekwondo. Taekwondo is incredible. Like if like I the girl who broke my nose as a black belt in taekwondo. So I mean that’s an incredible discipline. But as far as self defense, I mean my money’s on Jujitsu when the news broke, my last fight. Oh my God. Did you see the picture? We’re talking about it because he did a great job. How she did.

I’m sorry, I just meant like the doctor. That’s OK. I gotta give her. Perhaps she couldn’t tell if the glass is covered. It’s still swollen, but everyone’s like, oh, you know, I was great. Great for an OK now. But I had a pretty no, it was my pretty. Now I know. She’s like, I said to her, I’m, oh, I had to have. When I had my knee surgery I had to have him cut here and they appealed my nose back surgery. She said they didn’t have to meet with me the whole way so big. They went right into the. Yeah, that’s tough. So I’m just so interested. So as you were growing up, this is what you want to know. I never knew is what I wanted to do. I, I never knew I wanted to. I wanted just for like going just like normal kid going through life, figuring out what the sports.

I played softball and baseball was tomboy, like I used to have dirt fights with the little kid across the street. I have my best friend was a boy, used to have rock fights and play war can be physical and that’s what it is. My Momma, I grew up, you know, not to say my mother was abusive, but she was just like an old school Irish while I’m like, you got out of line sheet from across the room, throw a shoe and I literally, there’s no hiding it. And my mom’s thing was like, if I crack him in the face, you look at me, don’t you cry or I’ll give you a reason to cry. You know, like I grew up with a very tough and a tough family. Like my mom made sure that nobody outside wouldn’t break us and it’s true. I mean, last night, last fight, my nose was broke.

I had a big hole in my face and I was still fighting and I liked that about. I watched the video. Your videos are awesome by the way. I’ve showed them to everybody, but I watched the video on her website, which you have to go see a killer. Anyway. Um, she said, you know, I may not have the best form and I may not be the best prettiest fighter, but let me tell you something. Nobody’s going to beat me. He says, toughest, maybe the girls are stronger, better, more discipline, more experience is fine, but I don’t think anyone on the planet has ever seen me fight. Will say they, they know a tougher fighter because you can’t teach that. That’s, that’s how I knew that this is what I wanted to do is fire the fire in you and tell me about how you feel like when you take a hard hit, you see stars.

Are you so mad he path go past it? No. It’s like, like I would ask you the same thing. Like how the hell did you have three more kids after the first one I met, my kids are like, why didn’t you stop after? One is like your adrenaline is up and it’s like when you’re feeding something you love right at the physical pain really is not an issue. Right? Nothing. I mean sometimes that walk to the cage or that walk to the ring is the longest walk, but once I’m in there it’s like I’m home. Yeah. Once you get in there and everything’s going on, it just. It has to feel like you’re there. Like what you’re doing. Yeah. I love it so much. Oh my gosh. That is the most awesome. Seth, what were you going to ask? I know you were going to ask some.

Lost my train of thought. Wait, I’m going to ask her about the golden gloves. OK, tell me about that. At the gold level award, I won the golden gloves. I was in New York City, golden glove champion. Two thousand 12 was probably one of the highlights in my career is what made me decide I was done in the amateurs. I want all the titles you could win and it was ready to move on to turn pro. I want them an 18 months after my first amateur fight and it was special for me because it was the last class of golden glove champions to win at Madison Square Garden. Oh, that is because I wanted my gloves in the garden. That is really, really cool. That’s very cool. And you also, when you fall in the garden Abella tour, right? Yeah. That was, that was another. Like I always say that that moment winning that fight valador in Madison Square Garden and being on my knees, hearing 30,000 people saying my name, seeking out that kind of pass childbirth top fives.

And my daughter is like, no, I get it mom. That’s where billy Joel plays his piano. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean the Barclay Center is my home. I love boxing there, but for whatever reason, like I mean I stood on the scale. Muhammad Ali used to weigh in on that was. That was a big one. I get goosebumps. That’s true. And funny thing is I know Muhammad Ali, he was a great. He was a really cool guy at gleason’s and also at trained boxing at license. But I’m training Emma at Henzel Gracie Academy. Yeah, plug them because that’s awesome. And they have a lot for girls. They have a lot for women. There are so many females. First of all, the champions right now from gleason’s gym are women. The only active champions there are six of us from women. Weight classes go from superfly weight 206 pounds to heavy weight. Two hundred and four plus so that we get a lot of female support. Um, even if the female amateurs in the jam are winning titles and beat up all these girls. And the same goes on Henzel Gracie. I have my tea wrestling Jujitsu. Barner just competed at Pan Am’s and travels around the world and competes brown belts, purple belts. I mean this is, I’m surrounded by bad ass women all day

that that’s really brings your dam up there is really bringing. People don’t realize the difference in the sports and the training difference is you’re competing in two different sports. You talk about just like a little bit about how different it is. It probably,

I mean it’s a lot different. Like people think boxing and MMA is similar because boxing isn’t, but that’s like saying baseball, football are similar because they both use a ball that you catch, right? It’s like, yeah, I mean it’s everything from body positioning and it’s like when I go into this, it’s really boring stuff. It is. It’s like, you know, when you throw it in, it’s very, very technical stuff. Like you were talking about poly and all. Like if I step in with a jab in boxing, I don’t have to worry about somebody shooting in and ripping my legs out from under me and throwing me on the floor or kicking my legs because my weight is distributed unevenly. So all these tiny, tiny little deep finer details is what I’ve been practicing. Like don’t take boxing habits into Emma. Things you can get away with and boxing that don’t work when people can kick you and throw you on the floor.

Oh my God. I will take us through your training day. Like what do you do when you get up and how do you. I’m going to the gym by 6:00 AM from six tonight and I’m at gleason’s the teach clients because they still have to work. So I absolutely. So I’m teaching my clients and then usually from boxing, yeah, I do boxing and kickboxing and I have fitness, fitness classes and I’m also teaching like amateur fighters, like whoever comes in gleason’s whatever you want, you know. Um, and then I’ve had hands-on is usually between 10:30 and 1:00 1:30 every day. And that ranges from Moy Thai classes to individuals for wrestling and Jiu Jitsu. I do boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai and mma, sparring there in the cage. So it’s like every day I have a different kind of routine. Then usually after that I work in flat iron at shadowbox, which is a fitness boxing gym. But I teach all the teachers there. So I go there and I have lessons there. And then I’m usually running home at 3:00 to pick up my daughter, do homework, get snacks. And then usually from like 4:30 and until maybe 8:00 I have clients again between gleason’s and then there’s another shadowbox and Dumbo. So I’m running back and forth and then that’s between my downtime is when I’m doing like my strength and conditioning and my running and things like that.

Raising training while you’re training for a boxing match. Yeah.

Um, well I love boxing. So like my coaches keep like stop boxing. He’s like, just come here and do this work. And I’m like, I can, I just love it too much. Like I’ll be walking through gleason’s and we have a world champions at gleason’s right now. Females, one of the girls is having a fight. Um, I want to say Switzerland or Finland or Poland somewhere over there. And I, she asked me last week, can I get some sparring? I’m like, yeah, I was doing eight rounds of boxing, sparring and running into the Emma Major. But my coach is like, my God, you don’t listen to your love for martial arts or boxing is growing. You know, like when I went my first amateur boxing fight, I thought I was so good but so bad, right? Like it was so good, but I knew like I could only get better because if I was that good being that bad, imagine how good I would be being good.

Like it kept me in the gym to keep training and practicing and working at learning and that’s kind of how I feel about Emma. Like I’m. My first fight was so good. Even though I was so bad, you know? Yeah. And you start fighting, you slide back in your head, you’re in an MMA fight and you get so involved. The adrenaline’s going. You have to slide back into boxing a little don’t. Yeah, like that second nature, which is why I’m doing very little boxing training and more training because I’m going to be in the cage. So we want habits to come out naturally that are, you know, for shooting take downs and doing leg kicks and grabbing it for the clench as opposed to trying to find my range as a boxer. You training your life a year ago, doing this for 10, 15 years that have pictures like throwback Thursdays and pigtails and again, oh my God, there are a lot younger.

For sure enough for going to find one, I promise you that they have for a single mom. And what about running? How much do you run? I’ve run maybe four or five days a week. Like I tried to do a 30 minute jog, a Hector Roca who’s a famous boxing coach is my. Like my papa, my boxing gloves on, right? Gleason’s? Yeah. I wasn’t my coach. My Dad, he was the guy and he always taught me that running for boxing is not like for anything other than chill out. Make your wait and watch the birds. Take a nice easy 30 minute ride a couple of times a week just to do the announcing. Dammit. I’m calling, I’m calling. No, I don’t. Screw you. I absolutely do not. I practice that all week. I’m going to call the Mohegan Sun and I’m going to say, OK, this is the deal.

I’m going to come down to her because nobody is going to announce. It just isn’t, but I think it is just amazing to me because you just are so well rounded and you really have it down. If you think this is. This is what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. You want to teach this, you want to live this, teach it, live it, breathe it. I mean, like he said, there’s nothing that makes me happier than showing a little girl had a punch or making a little girl who’s good at boxing, who loves fighting for like she’s not alone, right? Because there’s nothing worse than that being the only little girl in the boxing gym and doing all the things that all the other little girls don’t do. So I love to see like little girls too in our bars and practicing stepping in on their job or say, can you show me boxing tricks on the jump rope? Like I love that. Oh, that is. So what about your social life has.

Yeah,

throat in their people ask, well, I think girlfriend time is mandatory. Like I have a group of girlfriends who are my best friends on the entire planet and it’s better than therapy, right? Like you have to, you have to have like-minded girlfriend. So that’s like mandatory time. We have what we call round table time and whether it be sitting around having coffee or having lunch or just talking because it’s so important, like I said, for women to feel like they’re not alone and we didn’t have like minded people and you realize that you’re just as messed up as they are. Right. Because one thing I’ve noticed in my am I, you know, transition is that no one is more screwed up than an Alpha female. Like I am Alpha female to the Max, right. Like I can do it myself, take care of myself, pay for it myself, get my own ride. But like all the other things like that,

I’ll be like crying in my house. Like, Oh my God, I’m so fat, you know, like stupid things like that that you really need like your other Alpha female girlfriends to relate because they’re just as screwed up as you are. Right. Absolutely. Right on that. So fat was deeper, longer discussion. Yeah.

Killing herself all day. I mean, seriously. I’m not fight dieting. I would say for holy Shit. I find a lot. Like I always say like I’m not an athlete and I’m a fighter, right? Like I do not eat like an athlete. Like when, if I’m not in a fight camp, I drink wine and chocolate. I love cake. I love French fries. Like I love pizza. I am so normal. It’s disgusting. And when I’m in a fight camp, usually I cranked down the last four weeks of camp where it’s like only protein and greens. So I try small portions, like let it be like having a piece of salmon on a salad or then my last week where I have to really cut down like the last eight pounds, which are the hardest to cut, um, is like a few, even smaller portions, like three bites of protein, three bites of Greens and mostly water. Did we just read last week that she can have wine? Promotes fat. Remember we read

the. Yeah, yeah, I did see that. You trainers out on the character. Yeah, I would, I totally, I could do everything she said except for cut out the wine. The wine would be like, I would be like, OK, if even if I just had a sip, I’d be cool this morning, some king of peanut butter sunbutter, so I woke up and made peanut butter and jelly so I had to eat it. That was my breakfast, so I’m sure you’ve done that too. Where you’re like, yeah, like three bites of leftover macaroni and cheese from the night before. Like I’m totally normal. Lot of yourself and say, I just don’t want to waste food. Really just slice of pizza on plate. You’re like, I’ll take that crass. Or my daughter will start walking from her. Her like her put up, bring her plate to the garment is killer to get those chicken fingers to make me go to the garbage. Was bought for her.

Well Heather, thank you. You’re going to stay. She’s going to do some reading with us on other stuff. Thank you so much for coming and you’re going to stay anyway, but tell us again. The fight is when and February 16th at Mohegan Sun casino. You can get tickets on my website it heather [inaudible]. They didn’t go live yet, but if you go and you sign up for the sign up for tickets through my site, you get a private after party access to hear more about this afternoon. Are you going with me when to go up? Maybe? Oh, I hate your center was facing right now. You should see face-to-face where you guys were doing a show. We’ll be right back with headlines and headaches and will be schooling seth when we’re done

podcasts. We’ll talk with amazing women who have worked their way to the top and want to share their real life lessons with you

and we’re back and we’re, I’ve got a really exciting news for you because, uh, we have a big sponsor. So yes, we do. We Finance A. I was super excited. I mean, the person that’s sponsoring our show for the next couple months, I, I’ve known him for a really long time and he, he got into some new ventures and he called me. He’s like, Hey, you know, I love you show. I listened to it all the time. Everybody talks about it. Come up here and I want to talk to you about the sponsorship with you, so I went up there and I’ve got to tell you, the name of the company is American cobolt aqua farms. They have [inaudible], which is a fish from Brazil. It’s a super food loaded with Omega three and Omega six as well as protein and Collagen. Truly, it’s truly a chef’s dream because this is a really versatile fish and I’m huge on fish.

Certain fish and this fish was absolutely delicious. He made me this fish, did not have any fishy taste at all, and it was like the. The skin was like Golden Brown, like fried chicken, and the meat was really white and buttery tasting it. I’m going to bring you some. You want me to get yourself? Yeah, I’m going to actually. I’ll get you some. Some takes. You eat fish, fish for three days training, right? So American Kobo aqua farms takes pride in supplying healthy and nutritious food through responsible, sustainable, eco-friendly, aqua culture. The quality of all natural fish is completely uncompromised. They never use antibiotics, vaccinations, hormones, chemicals, heavy metals or uncontrolled environmental factors. I was there. It was an incredible, incredible operation. They may, I’ve sold it from the minute the little tiny fish. They showed me the little fish in the tank all the way to these enormous fish to get the size of me or even bigger.

They can get, you know, a couple hundred pounds and so you’ve got to really look it up. Look up American Kobo, aqua farms. If you’re a chef, you’ve got to try this fish. If you want some of this fish, go online and look up their website or call them at nine. Seven [inaudible] 41. [inaudible] [inaudible] 80 4:41. They’ve got knowledgeable aquaculturists. They’re ready to say the culturists. I didn’t think I’d get through that one. Ready to assist you. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. American cobalt aquafarms. You rock the fish. Can I get some more for free? Because seth and heather hit now. American coldwell aqua farms. You rock your. Our sponsor in mare. We are. I did. It may agree your. I am actually in for two. Here we go. Seth is here and he’s got headaches and headline.

Yeah, I do. We start with a little somber news, uh, to start off. Um, obviously our hearts break over the two high school shootings in, in two days. The first one as reported by NBC affiliate in Texas, a 16 year old boy open fire inside the cafeteria of an Italy, Italy high school in Texas was 16 year old, walked up to the female of 15 year old freshmen, pulled out a gun and fire twice. The boy has been charged as a juvenile, was two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The girls recovering. I’m a Dallas Hospital, her name has not been released obviously. And the second one was a 15 year old student open fire a Tuesday at a Marshall County High School in Rural Kentucky, killing two people and wounding a dozen more authority set up both of the victims. That girl who died on the scene and a boy who died of his wounds later at the hospital were 15 years old, Kentucky Governor Bevin stated that Tuesday that there’s no good answer for it. A thousand hypotheses that we’re not going to go into. And um, unfortunately we’ve had too many of these stories.

I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it. And actually I’ve told you before, my oldest son is the superintendent of schools in his school district outside of Philly. My third son is the principal of the high school. Terrifies me, my daughter and my daughters. They teach my daughter

in law’s. It freaks me out. And I, I really say that my kids like, are you kidding? Like how much security. But Heather, you said it. Tell me what you said. When we talked about that my daughter is going into high school next year. For me the most important thing is not like what high school is, what’s school is safe and I’m almost willing to pay anything or do anything to get her into school where I know that I can send her off in the morning and she’s going to be taken care of and looked after. With attentive teachers who kind of spat out these things. I find it so hard to believe that nobody saw signs of maybe someone needs help.

You can get access to guns. I mean, I talk about this in the past on previous shows, the people who have legal or illegal firearms, you have to know what you’re doing to keep these away from kids at bio with your thumb print or whatever else. Like you need to lock these guns up as best you can. These kids cannot. W we’re, we’re all parents, but you never know. A kid could snap, but we’d like to think it wouldn’t be ours, but you shouldn’t have access to guns. What’s going to push them in a 13 year old out there? Like you said, like 13 year olds are tough. We knew we were teenagers. Life was so hard for us. Everything was such a big deal about this story that blew my mind is both of these schools were in really small, tiny towns.

Yeah, and you know what? I try to figure that part out with heather saying, well, you know, you kind of see if it was an inner city school, I’d be like, OK, he’s a lot of kids. A lot of commotion, a lot of things going on. When a tiny town like that, I don’t. I’m not blaming the school at all please, or the teachers. I mean everybody has the best they can to make everybody safe. But where were the parents on this too? I mean, you didn’t see your kid was having a problem. I don’t know.

Anyway, we’re really sorry about that. We hope it stops. It’s harder. What’s the answer? That’s the tough part. What is the answer is happening almost every week. I’m going to jump to a Kevin Spacey’s. Scandals costs Netflix. Thirty $9,000,000. Killer. Killer. Unbelievable. I, we talked earlier about me too and just the harassment and Kevin Spacey is basically pedophilia.

Years and years and years. And so we’ve been in cover up and again, this takes me back and I’m going to say, it takes me to the Matt Lauer thing like you did. You worked with the guy shoulder to shoulder for how many years? You can’t tell me you didn’t know something that

was a little kid. When they’re making money mean, it’s like they just blow. They sweep everything under the rug. That’s in my opinion. Um, well, you know, he was accused of sexual harassment October. It spanned yours is canceled. Projects include house of cards, which I really enjoyed. How’s the cards? I can sell it really well. It’s him and Robin Wright. I mean, she’s a fantastic actress too and it’s just fun to watch good actors in, in, uh, playing the president, you know, is this good? It was very well [inaudible]. Um, so that’s one of their cancel flexes first original shows. There’s a biopic, movie gore,

a figure provides a hint of how much the wave of scandals that followed allegations of sexual harassment against top producer Harvey Weinstein last year. It might have cost Hollywood. So incredible, incredible. Those you reap what you sell, you get what you deserve. You’re going to be money hungry and just let these animals, you know, run the zoo, has to be an example set for people down the line for the next guy who thinks that he can use this power to over email to think like, I don’t want that to happen to me right now. There’s going to be repercussions. Not only are you going to get kicked off the shows, but we’re going to tell everybody about it. So go ahead, hadn’t try to get physical with a guy, a guy got out of line with you know, but I have been sexually assaulted before. So this is a very sensitive subject for me.

And the one thing that most women who are survivors, what they talk about is feeling so isolated and alone and no one will believe me. I think it was my fault and this meat to Mo movement now that is exposing these actors and you know everyone in Hollywood as saying, yes, I do believe her. Yes. And now knowing beliefs you and taking that power because you run and tell somebody right away. It took me years to do. It was years of shame and embarrassment and feeling like it was my fault. I did. You know the person, oh, that’s the worst man. And they were probably still around. You had to face that every day. Oh my God, that’s, that’s the worse it is.

The truth is, is that only now is when the media is allowing us to feel like it’s OK to talk about it, right? Like it’s 10 years ago. It was a whisper, like it was like, oh, that happened to you told your mom we were a secret society. Right. It was almost a time to when you would tell your mom and your mom would say don’t tell anyone. Go. And that was the way they were raised. And that’s not throwing shit at the moment. My Mother did, but it’s very common and for me, because I’ve been so open with my saw, it’s like I want people to feel like it’s OK to talk. That is not your burden to carry his, you were a kid because we have kids, we have young girls that listen to this [inaudible] [inaudible]. So yeah, it is for sure. And I’m like, you know, like uh, it without getting too political. But what was it? Locker room talk locker room talk. It’s, it’s time, like time isn’t, is the right time is up. I missed that conversation from earlier when we talked about women should know how to take care of themselves mentally or physically, vocally to say to say, no, this is not OK. And it’s OK for me to say no. Right, right, right. That’s not the part. It’s OK to say no, it’s OK.

They’re all fired up.

Yeah. When she started kicking off the top of her sweatshirt, it doing cracking my knuckles. I’m an old man header probably the same age.

All right, let’s move on before someone gets hurt. Then I saw I was so story about this and it’s a little scary and we always think know when we talk about it, we think about it, but otherwise people don’t think about things like this. Tsunami warnings issued after seven point nine magnitude earthquake in Alaska. I’ve been canceled, but you’ve just hearing about what we just talked last week about the warnings that there was going to be a ballistic missile drop right in Hawaii. Yeah. I mean the quick hit near Kodiak, Alaska 12:31 AM according to the US Geological Survey, tsunami warnings were issued for the Virginia Coast, which includes British Columbia and Alaska itself as well as Hawaii. The alerts has since been cancelled, but no reports of damages or injuries, CNBC reports, you know w, we always think of what’s going to be the end. You know what’s going to happen, what could catastrophe is going to be so big? You know, like a tsunami could feel. I could just take Hawaii out.

All right, well I left it on Hawaii during Hurricane Annie. I think I’ve said this in another show and let me do it. That’s when the boats came up in per. They came up into Honolulu, the boots that were notion, and I’ll tell you right now, it is very sobering to think that you’re on an island. I mean there isn’t a lot of places you’re going, dude. I really literally could drive around that island around the perimeter of the island and Nike and hour and 10 minutes and I would come home like every year, every other year to New Jersey just because. So I could have like feel like expanse because how much. I mean people that Oh my God, you live in Pr was paradise. I’m not taking that from it. I loved every second of it. We were a military. It was the greatest. However, it’s an island. So what do you got going on next? We’re gonna go. We’re gonna. Go head up to the tough mudder. Male. OK, let’s do tough mudder, man. But before we do again, I want to definitely thank our sponsor who is American cobalt aqua farms. Please look them up. American cobalt aqua farms.

Can anyone. Is he restaurants these sort of. Anyone can order fish from him too,

actually. Yeah. I, yeah. Actually this is new. I think their site is relatively temporary because they just started this. I mean, not him. He’s been in this a long, long time and he’s um, built this expansive, beautiful aqua farm. But um, yeah, I think you can call them in order and I’m bringing in try it because you know, where you and I are always talking about health and we’re always trying to stay healthy. And it was, I loved it. I mean my kid’s leftovers. Yeah. Yeah, me too. So we’re here with tough mother Malan and um, we’ve got some letters and we want to say if you have a question and you don’t want to ask anyone or if you want, if you don’t care, if you want to ask everyone but write us, let us know and we’d be glad to answer your question on the air and we’ll answer the best we can. Again, we’re not therapists. We’re not doctors. Lawyers were not anything other than tough mother, although we have some life experience, life experience together. We have probably. I’m not saying go ahead and it’s the first letter.

Mother. I do not. I don’t know what to do. And my sister is doing drugs. She says it’s only weed, but it’s not. I’ve seen other crap and people telling me she’s using with her boyfriend in them. We used to be close. We did a lot together, but not anymore since she turned 15. She met that scumbag and he changed everything. I barely ever see her and never know where she is. When she is around. She’s high. I can tell because she sleeps all the time and never eats. She misses a lot of school, but she doesn’t care. Both my parents work a couple jobs and don’t speak much English so they don’t know what’s going on. Don’t tell me to tell someone because I’m not knocking, knocking her out. Mom would die and my dad would kill her. I’m freaking out because she’s going to get caught or overdose and die. If she does, it would be my fault because I know and I don’t know what to do if I try to talk to her, she laughs and says I’m stupid little brother and it’s just weed, but it’s not. I don’t have anybody else. It’s just her and I don’t want anything to happen. Sign. Not Stupid.

Wow. That’s really rough on it. And I’ve been actually in this position like this before and uh, I, I’m, I’m sorry that you don’t have anybody else and you say she’s using and when I hear the term she’s using, that means heroin to me. I mean, that’s what, that’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear that. And I know it’s really tough because your parents are working a lot and you don’t have anybody to turn to. The only thing I can think of when I hear this and I want to, I believe me as a mother and as an adult, I want to say run, run to your. You know, your grandmother, your aunt, your counselor. Run to someone and tell them, but you’re pretty set on. You’re not knocking her out. You’re not knocking her out by telling someone you’re not knocking her out.

Honest to God, I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t believe it. And believe me, you can trust me. Tell them if you can. I mean you gotta think you gotTa. Get this off your chest. You got to help yourself. You got to go and tell somebody. The other thing I can think of is literally listened to this show because you sound so desperate in this letter to here to help her and you got to do something. She’s got to do something. You have to tell somebody because if she is using, it’s a really, really dangerous road. She’s going down.

Heather, what would your parents do if you found out you were using?

Are you and your sister was doing it? What would you do? Ah, well that’s the thing. Like you’re not knocking her out. You have to tell on her because you need your mom and your dad to kill her because you have not literally right, but he said like, my dad will kill everything. Know you need them to do that and you need to take that off your chest because you’re like your scissors support systems. Problems are your problems, so you have to give them to parents because it was just

as problems. I hear parents problems and the other one’s way better equipped at dealing with her. What’s going on with her then? You are absolutely seth. What do you think? Younger brother. You knocking him out? He tried already and she’s 15, so he’s got. He’s 13 years old. Traveled life with this guilt on your back or your sibling. She’s 15 and you’re and you’re blaming on the scumbag and you know what? OK, I’m going to go with that. Fifteen and 15 year old girl. Your hormones are rushing. Somebody pays attention to you. He says, do this, do that. She does it. The parents aren’t around. They both worked two jobs, you know, it’s a really tough road that she’s traveling. Yeah, but, um, you got to tell somebody, dude, and here’s the deal, if you just tell me, if you call us back or call us, go on the website, right us, you know, Ali Week. I’ll call you, give me your phone number. I’ll call you. We’ll figure it out together because I’m not letting you swing on this one. I’m just not.

Sister kept using drugs and she can’t be around a guy like that. It’s going to take her down the wrong path because that could mess up your life forever or we can die and I know it’s not something to play around with. Reach out to us, dude. What will help you out? We promise you. Ready for the next one? Go ahead. My friend who owes me money and is not paying it back. Oh, I love these letters. I let her use my car and she backed into a truck at the 7-eleven parking lot. She gave the guy in the truck and my name and number. Wow. Her phone was turned off and I told him to call her so she could pay him to fix it. He called and he wanted $700 and she said she didn’t have it all. So I gave her some to this day, almost three months later, she hasn’t paid me back. If I asked her about, she says, you know, I don’t have it. On top of that, she never mentioned the huge debt and my bumper. How do I get my money?

Well, heather is a dear friend now, but here, you know, you got an invaluable lesson and it costs you less than $700 to get rid of a bump. Friend was the movie bronx. The Bronx tale costs you less than 700 bucks to realize you can’t trust that girl next. To me, that’s the simplest answer. And it’s a life lesson, right? It will make you think twice before you lend money to somebody again. So seems like a perfect case for people’s Court. Judge Judy. Judy would like totally out of it.

Now you’re not paying her back. I mean, that’s an easy case, so maybe they will take that one will be enough to even get to the commercial break, but yeah, I think heather hitted on the head. I think at a certain point you’ve got to cut your losses. I think we’ve

for money, that’s a friend or family member and never gotten it back. That just. I didn’t land in unison. Exactly. Don’t come to my door at her friend either. Yeah. If you say I’m having hardship and I’m sorry if you show like some actual caring, this woman’s just blown her off. So that’s it. That’s done. Go ahead. I’m sorry I wasn’t prepared. I thought you’re going to read it. OK. Let me find it more appropriate for one mother. What happened to the other lady came in one day. Now I’m Lisa and gayle were fabulous. We love them to death and we’re. We’re very, very good friends with all of us, but I’m. Lisa is a singer and an amazing, amazing singer and an amazing salesperson and Gal who works for scholastic is an amazing artist and that this was my gig and they came and helped me out and they got me where I needed to be and I’m so grateful to them both for coming and helping and they want it to continue, but it just didn’t work with our schedules and everything that was going on. So, um, they may come in at some point as a guest to some point in life, but right now they’re out doing their own gig right there. And we. And we got tough brother Seth who’s been bitching and moaning about a tee shirt and so I’ve gotten. It is being ordered, I swear. So anyway.

Yeah, I paid for it. I pay for everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I paid to have the logo. Maybe I got lucky here, but any rate. So again, please, if you, if you got a question, if you want an answer, we’ll, we’ll do our baths. It’s good old fashioned, motherly brotherly advice. We try to take as many letters as we can to try to keep it three show because of what’s going on, but you can catch us at one. Tough mother, [inaudible] mother.net. Of course, all the social media, instagram, twitter, facebook, linkedin. I just set up. Yeah, I really do. I do. I like linkedin. I really do. I love it because it’s a lot of professional people and some really good contacts out there I guess. Yeah. I stalk people down and it’s crazy. Crazy. Great, but thank you heather. Thanks for having me. Coach her fight. I’m going to go watch it on TV. It will be on the paramount network on February 16th. Is there enough TV networks? They took all of a spike, so yeah, I didn’t even realize the paramount is spike make. I’m going to call spike and get tickets.

Peeps of spike. That’s awesome. Congrats. Congratulations on. Yeah, you’re doing great. Keep going where you’re going and good luck with your daughter. I didn’t know if she needs anything and we’ll come. We’ll back yet we can. We. Can we do your posse calking you’ll pick. I wouldn’t be like concealed carry walk behind a spit bucket more than anything. Are you providing a great example to your daughter patient better than anything? Exactly. Well thanks everybody. We’ll see you next week. We have another great guest and log on and find us. Look for us. Were always there for you.

Have a great week.

 

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