Dear one tough muther
At 15 I got pregnant and had an abortion by request of my mother not seeing me raising a child. Since then I feel depressed. Wondering how my baby would have looked and wondering if my life may have went better. It’s been 7 years and yet it’s in the back my head and causes a pit in my stomach. Sometimes I pray that I get pregnant with my current boyfriend to fill this void I feel dead with. I know that’s wrong. No one understands. They say that it’s not like I was even pregnant, I didn’t go through a pregnancy and to stop using that as attention. No one understands how I feel. I don’t know how to feel better.
I am so sorry Honey and to all those who have something to say I’d say it is a loss whether or not you went through with the pregnancy or not. You were certainly pregnant or there would not have been an abortion. I know you must certainly understand why your Mother requested the abortion and I have to say with you being so young, if I were your Muther I would have wanted same decision.
Cassie, your curiosity and depression are completely understandable.
However, having a baby at 15 would not have made your life any better. The truth is only YOU can make yourself better. It has taken me years to realize that NO ONE is responsible for our lives except for us. A baby at 15 years old would have been a life altering event. You would not have had the opportunity to experience your youth, finish high school with the friends you’ve grown up with, gone to college or to have moved forward in the manner you have. Cassie, The most difficult job in the world is raising children because it is a job for life. It is also very, very expensive. Where at 15 would you have gotten the money to raise a baby? Would you want to raise your baby under the stress of no education, no job and no security?
Cassie, I am sorry you feel such an empty feeling and wish I could tell you to forget about it but you won’t. Now you must come to terms with that decision of long ago and move past it. The one thing I can say for sure is that in the future you will love, raise and care for the children with all your heart.
Cassie, you can’t move forward, looking behind you. Think of your future now and how you’d like to move forward at 22 years old. Take some time and get some education so you will be financially secure. Then when the time comes for you to settle down, marry and raise a family you will be prepared both emotionally as well as financially and your children will be better for it.
Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther