Dear One tough Muther,

I have been thinking and noticing since I’ve hit thirty that having an attractive husband isn’t what should be important. When I met my husband he was kind and attractive, popular with many friends and always somewhere to be. We’ve been together 11 years and 99% of the time this man treats me terrible , if he decides to notice me at all.

Then I look around to these beautiful woman, stunning beauty, thin wastes nearly flawless then meet or see their less then attractive husbands who pamper to their every need and hang on every word and I think maybe this is what I should have been paying attention to?

I recently ran into a distant relative of my husbands at an event. Still a beautiful woman after all these years and two babys.Thin, long flowing dark hair down her back. She could model i’ve always said. I asked to meet her husband- bc I was being nosy I thought, ok lets see model hubby. Nope a chubby man, with thinning hair, less than attractive but cute and a smile planted on his face. Hanging in a loving gaze as his wife spoke. I have been seeing this so much lately and I was just wondering if this is what you notice as you age? Is this a new thing that woman are finally waking up and seeing who will be good men? Not to say there aren’t attractive men who wouldn’t behave this way but -my own experience is that I haven’t seen it yet.

Dear Heather,

I haven’t noticed what you are referring to however I have not looked for it. I do notice that in a relationship where both people, the man and the woman have strong self confidence and self worth the couple seems to go head to head more often. I believe that people with strong confident personalities are always very attractive and it shows. These confident types seem to attract people who are maybe not as confident or someone who is very happy to be the care giver and take a passive role in the relationship. I am very sure the less attractive partner has strength in different areas purely other then looks and that is what attracts the “beautiful” person to them.
As far as your husband treating you poorly 99% of the time I say, it’s time to re-adjust your thinking. Heather, you can only be treated the way you allow others to treat you so if someone is treating you poorly and you do nothing about it, you are the one responsible for allowing it. Your husband is suppose to be your biggest fan, your partner and you his so if that is broken it’s time to take stock and fix it.

Go Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,


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