OTM,

Friends of mine that are married have been separated since January. Reason being the husband cheated. I am friends with both of them and am finding that my girlfriend ( the wife) wants me to completely cut off her husband. Not that I am here hanging out with him or even talking to him. This is the thing, He keeps calling me and wanting to talk to me about it or just see how everyone is doing. I have talked to him through text but haven’t answered the phone when he calls. My gf found out I talked to him and is very upset with me. I don’t know if he rubbed it in her face or what but that is what I am figuring. She feels i’m betraying her and so on, it’s dumb. What do you do when friends of yours that were married are no longer together? I honestly feel like the husband is more persistent in the friendship than her. I hear from him more than her and sometimes during their marriage it was the same thing. BUT I am not taking sides. I am still both their friends and I want to keep it that way. Can I?

Dear Carrie,

Yes, it is possible to be both of their friends but not probable.
Your friend is crushed and needs your shoulder and your support while her husband is reaching out to “see how everyone is” AND explain and suck you in to the mess.
Regardless, what is done, is done and he doesn’t owe you or any friend any explanation.
So can you remain friends with both? I guess so as long as you don’t mind being a sounding board for both. Listen only don’t engage in bashing and be careful and not to get drawn into the he said, she said drama and definitely keep your opinions to yourself, however I have a feeling that one side will end up fading into the sunset once he is satisfied that his points have been heard.

Good LucK & Huge Muther Hugs

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