Hi OTM,

My question is about a friend of mine. She does this really annoying thing where she has her own opinion like a normal person but the minute someone else has a different opinion she agree’s with them. It drives me NUTS. Like, we watched this new release movie. We loved it! It was very good, lots of action. Right up our alley. We mentioned it to her friends how much we liked it. Our friends did not like the movie and explained why. My friend then agree’s with them!!..But it could be anything. It has happened with restaurants a school district. She will like a place but the minute someone else does not she changes her opinion with the drop of a hat. I do not understand it. Why does she do this? Have an opinion of your own.

Dear Hailey,

Your friend is a crowd pleaser.
It appears she has very little self esteem or feeling of self worth. She thinks she must agree with everyone so they like her and she doesn’t upset them. It is sad really that something in her life has made her that way.
It may help you understand why she changes her mind. Ask her what made her do a 180 and hear her out. If the reason is valid you have nothing to say, but if she stammers or her reasons are weak you need to help her. Point to her out that she is a smart, insightful person and that her opinion counts. Tell her to stand by what she truly believes. Positive reinforcement and pointing out her “good” qualities will help her strengthen and stand on her own, so give it a try.
I am sure after some time, hearing positive phrase, she will become more confident.

Good Luck & Huge Muther hugs,

OTN

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