Dear one tough muther,
My 30 year old daughter is a mess and I let her move back home six months ago until she could get on her feet. She’s been in and out of jobs and currently she does not hold a job. She’s being lazy, unless of course it has to do with a night out with her friends. Her father wants us to kick her out and stop supporting her, but I worry about her. Where will she live , in her car? Unwelcomed jumping from friends homes, I don’t know. She obviously had no where to go which is why she is with us. Can I really just kick my kid on the street? That’s not the answer. Or is it?
Your 30 year old ADULT daughter is taking advantage of you, your husband and your patience.
She is not a college student trying to find herself after college, she is a grow woman. It’s apparent from what you say that she doesn’t have any problems going out with her friends at night, but does have a problem keeping a job, so this is my advice. In fact, this is exactly what my friend did with one of her children who had motivational issues after college.
Confront your daughter and tell her she has 30 days from today to find a job. Then tell her she has 60 days from today to find an apartment. She can find one with a friend or alone her choice.
You have now removed yourself of guilt for “kicking her out on the street”, you have given her time to adjust her lifestyle and now the ball is in her court.
Meredith,she is 30 years old for goodness sake, as if i have to remind you, sorry. NOW is the time for her to grow up and becoming a contributing member of society. I feel that by giving her deadlines you are helping her take that first step.
Meredith, we would all like to freeze time and relinquish our adult responsibilities, however that is not the real world, especially at 30 years old. Stop making it easy for her to live in this dependent state and help her to move on with her life. Time to push her out of the nest Mom, so she can fly!
Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther