I grew up in an abusive household. I was physically abused, verbally & mentally. Called a loser , was told that they wished i’d never been born and a waste of space by both parents. When I grew up and married I made the decision to cut all ties with my parents. My husband and I moved back to his home town and are very close with my inlaws. My daughters are starting to ask questions as to who raised me. In which I say my mother. They question why she is not around and I’ve changed subjects but the questions still come up. I finally told my children that my parents were not so nice to me and that they are lucky to have their mema and poppy. My girls ,7& 10 ask , how were my parents mean, In which way were they mean . How do I explain to them we are better off without them?

Dear Beatrix,

I am so sorry and i am happy that you have moved past such a horrible childhood.
I think 7 & 10 years old are still a bit young to go into any deep details with. Sometimes we forget that even though our children act older they truly DO NOT have the life experiences or mental maturity to process and deal with emotional upset.
For that reason I hate children watching TV shows or movies that have to be explained because then those shows are beyond their age and mental capacity.
Beatrix, saying that your Mother and Father were unkind and not happy people is enough as far as I’m concerned for a 7 & 10 year old, period. If they ask you to explain simply say, I have explained enough, some day when you are much older and if you still want to know we will talk. Then reassure them that you are so happy that you have them and that you and their father as well as their Mema and Poppy love them very much. I think if you hold the line and shine the light back on how much you love them, they move on to something else.

Good Luck Beatrix and Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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