OTM,

I have two events happening on the same day that I received invitations for literally days apart . First is my husbands Aunts long time boyfriends 60th Surprise birthday party. Next is my company picnic. I just started a new job a few months ago and this year the company is bringing all the branches together for a big company picnic, A live band, Food catered, events for the kids. This is happening at 1pm. The 60th birthday party is at 3pm that same day. Though My mother in law was talking about it before hand I did not know the date and I did not respond that I was definitely going, though the way my MIL thinks is there is no question she kept saying we should just show up for a little and there will be food. My husband brought up attending the picnic then going to the party. PROBLEM- the picnic is an hour away, who knows when food will be available and when everything will get started. I planned on trying to mingle and meet everyone considering I am new AND my co workers are saying this will be an all day thing. I would prefer not to be an outcast or come off as anti social by completely avoiding the picnic. Another problem is we cant show up late to the 60th party because it is a surprise party, what if we pull in or walk in just as he is entering! So then it really comes down to this. Do I go to my work picnic with my children and maybe my husband just goes to the 60th party without us, Do we ditch my company picnic and just attend the 60th, or do we try to do both?!

Dear Double Booked,

Oh, how I hate when this happens. It seems like you don’t get invited to anything or you get invited to everything, on the same day no less. Well, I the way I see it you have a few choices, so let’s break them down.

  1. The entire family goes to the picnic
  2. The entire family goes to the 60th surprise party
  3. You and the children go to the company picnic, while hubs goes to the surprise 60th party
  4. You all go to the picnic until at certain time, let’s say ummmmm until 3:00, then arrive at the surprise party an hour late. You will be doing exactly what your MIL suggested showing up for a little, paying your respects and congratulating the birthday boy and only missing the surprise part.

Winner, winner chicken dinner, I say you go with #5. This is a 60th birthday party for the Aunt’s long time boyfriend, not a child or an immediate family member. I’m sure the birthday boy won’t be too broken up if your family is not there for the big reveal. I think the fact that you make an effort to please both, by attending each party, is the perfect solution. You aren’t blowing either off, your going out of your way and are making a real honest effort to attend both events. Besides it shows you care and hey, it was exactly what MIL’s suggested, “show up for a little”.

So, that is Muther’s social savvy suggestion. It stinks for you guys that you have to run between the two parties, however it really is the only way to enjoy both without losing face with someone. Relax and have a good time, oh and give birthday boy my regards.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

 

 

 

 

 

 

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