Dear one tough muther,
I’m sorry this is going to be an annoying complaining about the husband letter. But I just need your opinion please. To me I have a disrespectful husband. My husband has this line that he uses anytime I try to put my foot down, and it’s this line- “I pay the bills” . The other day he had two pairs of shoes and his work uniform laying all over my living room. I usually don’t say anything Bc I don’t like fights. So I said as I was smiling and in a teasing voice , you complain about the kids shoes by the door and not in the shoe closet but yet look at your stuff. He said in a cocky tone- I don’t care, I pay the bills. Which wasn’t relevant to the situation but I didn’t want to fight so I brushed it off and just said , I don’t get why you snap I was teasing you. Also a big issue is when my three kids and I sit at the table for dinner, husband grabs a plate and sits in the living room. Not always but often. A: I don’t like ANYONE eating in the living room and he knows it and B: why can’t he join his family? I’ve said a few times to him before , why can’t you join us, we’re your family. He’s complained he worked all day and wants to do his thing. Then I say I don’t Iike the mess, and he says the I pay the bills line. I get highly offended by that line because it makes me feel like he’s king and I’m nothing and I should just let him do whatever or be lucky he (barely) pays the bills. Am I just being overly sensitive?
Your husband IS disrespectful and he is also setting an extremely poor example for his children. WHO cares who pays the bills, you’re a family right? Do you do his laundry and take the wet clothes out of the washer and throw them on the floor instead of putting them in the dryer? YOU do the laundry. Do you make dinner and only make what you like to eat? YOU cook the meals. Do you go to your room and read when he comes home because YOU like to do your own things as well.
I’m sorry to say this but your husband sounds immature and selfish. It is evident by his behavior at dinner. He should be sitting at the table and asking his children about their day. Dinner time in my family was always a time to catch up on what was going on with everyone.
No, I don’t think you are being over sensitive and I don’t like the “I pay the bills” chant. Next time he whips out the “I pay the bills” line I’d hand him a bill for all you do and say, “Good, then you won’t mind paying this one.” Maybe he will realize how ridiculous he sounds.
Huge Muther Hugs,
One Tough Muther