Dear one tough muther I am in trouble. I have so much debt I feel like I’m drowning. When I bought my home, all on my own it was wonderful but buying my home left me with not much room for much else, I moved in with my old out of date furniture and hand-me-downs and my family brought up how it made my home look not very nice, So there for I felt the need to charge to get nice furniture and nice things to fill my home.That was the beginning, it is so easy to get a credit card and charge for what you desire. I started charging for every area in my life-clothes, jewelry, home decor, yard decor, things for work. I got a car loan for a nice vehicle out or my price range and am very close to repossession of the vehicle. I missed a payment on my home and I don’t want to fall behind on it , I worked so hard to get it and was so proud. But I have a problem with money. I could name it all, but you get the picture. Why oh why did I feel the need to do this ! Is there an end in sight! Also, I feel like I can’t stop charging. I use this credit card to pay that one and so on. I feel like I am doing it to impress people. I am an elementary school teacher and people seem to think teachers are millionaires, so I feel the need to keep up that fantasy. I think I need help with my spending issue but I don’t know where to go or where to start. Should I file for bankruptcy. I need to stop spending but can’t! If you or anyone has advice I’d surely appreciate it.

Dear Spencer,

I am so sorry you have dug this hole but it is not endless.

First and foremost you MUST get rid of the credit cards.
I look at credit cards like this, “who are they to take my money by demanding interest?” So if I charge anything I make sure I can pay it all off that month so no one makes money on my hard earned money.

Secondly and most important you have to hire a financial adviser. Look one up in your area on-line, ask at your bank or speak to someone but Spencer YOU NEED THIS. Someone who will take control of your fiances, your spending and help you rebuild.
These people are wonderful and they really do help you pay down debt and build bank. You’ll feel relieved to have them council you and get you back on the right track. You are not yet as “out of control” as you thought so letting some one else hold the reins for a while is just a mental relief.

Last, never let anyone make you feel less than wonderful about your accomplishments. You are in control of your own thoughts. You and you alone control your own destiny. If family or friends even start in a negative direction, shut them down. Stand tall and strong, be proud of what you have accomplished knowing you can take things to the next level on your own. Being proud of what you have done and knowing that the only direction you’re interested in is up, will make it easy to focus on what is important. Just remind yourself over and over, if you can’t pay for it at the end of the month, then you don’t need it. Save the credit cards for emergencies and take control of your direction. Spencer, just about everyone gets stuck at one time or another and needs help taking control of their lives. The good thing is you recognize it and want to get it under control, that is the biggest step, which you have already taken, please keep on stepping.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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