Dear One Tough Mother,

I have a sinking feeling my husband of 13 years is interested in a woman he works with.
They text back and forth “about work” several times a day an as he reads these “work” messages he is smiling ear to ear. He has also suddenly started to dress better. He bought new shirts, jeans and underwear, that are more stylish and he doesn’t seem to want to do any of the stuff we use to do together. We don’t walk, ride bikes or even watch sports together any more.

I spoke to him and asked him if there was something going on with him, I asked him if he is bored or maybe depressed and he said I was being ridiculous. I suggested we take a trip to spend some times together, I mean why not we have the money and we have no children however, he completely blew me off. His reply was, right now he is really wrapped up at work, so  let’s talk about this later.
I am physically getting sick over this, what should I do? I don’t want to accuse him like some crazy wife but the signs are there.
Several times I have actually gotten up in the middle of the night to check his phone, but everything is erased.

Please help, I feel like I am going crazy.


Dear Crazy,

After 13 years of marriage you have to know each others habits, likes and dislikes so if your gut tells you something is amiss, listen. I mean unless the two of you never communicate, he must able to tell you are upset.
So it’s time to stop doing the side step, sit him down and speak to him.
Your fear of the unknown is going to eat away at you until you can’t take it any longer. Besides the story you are building in your head may be way worse that the real deal.

Stop the night time ninja missions, the dancing around in the dark and the torturous guessing, by getting up the guts to get to the heart of the matter. After 13 years of marriage, you should be able to tell if there is anything going on clearly by his reaction . Don’t make this into an inquisition, simply explain how you feel and why. Who knows if there is something starting with this co-worker, you may just stop it before it goes after farther.
Savanna, it’s always better to face your fears in the light, than to hide from them and fear them in the dark.
Get out of the dark and find out what is going on in his head, before it what ever it is goes any farther.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther


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