I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin, I’ve always felt awkward and anxious in social settings. I can’t seem to get my body how I want, do my hair or makeup how I want, or be the person that I am around my family. It’s hard for me to connect with anyone in school, I just feel alone. How can I build my confidence to get out and make friends?

Dear Pauline,

You are very hard on yourself. I know being shy can be very painful, my sister was shy growing up and she is a very pretty, wonderful person. Pauline I seriously don’t know many people who have the body they want, I know I don’t however the hair and makeup are easy fixes.
My suggestion is to figure out what you enjoy most and join a group or club with people who enjoy to doing the same thing. We tend to be more outgoing and confident when we are doing something we really enjoy.You could also join a gym and become physically strong, which would help your mental strength as well. You could also join a church group, volunteer some time to a charity or try something new that you have always wanted to try. Pauline, there are also life coaches who make it their business to coach people in many ways, maybe look for one near you.
Pauline, what it all boils down to is in order for you to change how you feel, you must make a change. I know it is hard but you are braver than you think and you really must try. Start with the easiest change, the hair and makeup issue. Get a picture of what you want your hair and makeup to look like then go to a few salons and ask them if they can achieve the look. Once someone does ask them to teach you how to get that look.
Pauline, remember there are so many people in the world who are just as shy as you are, you are not alone.
Now get out there and try, you will be wonderful.

Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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