Dear one tough muther,

My co-worker and she is also my very good friend is acting crazy! She got divorced three year’s ago ( her husband had an affair). She was devastated for awhile, in heavy depression and was obsessed with finding out “Why'” he did it. She never got her answers and eventually she got over it and moved on. But when i say she moved on, boy did she move on! Her kids are in highschool so this gives her some more freedom these days. But it seems every other weekend she is going out, dancing,& drinking!! She has always been so reserved and calm mannered but now she is the life of the room, and on a hunt for a new man!.We try to tell her she doesnt need a man and to slow it down and enjoy this freedom but she is just doing what she wants! Going through so many dates! Why do you think she feels like she needs a man so quickly? I know i said three years ago she got divorced but she only recently started going out like this and it feels like bing bang boom, so quick. Whats going on with her?

Dear Amy,

I think your friend feels the need to feel desired. Desired by being the life of the party, desired by dating men, desired by being the wild and crazy party girl.
You said her husband cheated on her, she was in heavy depression, obsessed with finding out “WHY” he did what he did and she was devastated. Well Amy, in my mind the answer to “what’s going on with her?” is simple. I am sure her trust and self esteem are shattered and starting over and being out there is the way she will feel wanted and needed again. I know that it seems quick to you but I’m sure to her it doesn’t.
As long as she is not being reckless (picking up anyone), irresponsible (drinking and driving or not being a good mother) or dangerous (meeting different men alone and going home with them) she should be fine. I feel it will soon die down. I realize that you say to enjoy the freedom, but when you are the one of your friends without someone in your life it is hard. Everyone needs someone to come home to, to talk things over with and to share with.
Please don’t judge her, but do keep talking to her and involve her in things as much as you can.
All she really needs is to find someone to help her feel special and needed again.

Huge Muther Hugs,

OTM

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