I live in a small town in New Hampshire and I was just offered a big promotion along with a big move for it to Chicago. It’s means more opportunities to climb in the business , much better salary and I have worked my tail off for this. When I presented this to my boyfriend of three years it angered him. I asked him to move with me. He hates his job and there is much more to offer In Chicago. Well he is refusing and is claiming if I love him I’ll turn down the offer and simply say I changed my mind. Is it worth it to turn down a serious life changing opportunity in my career because my boyfriend wants me to ? Would I be horrible if I just went anyway? I need some guidance. My family and friends say GO, my boyfriend says NO !

Dear Vanessa,

GO, if he “loves you” he would want you to take this wonderful opportunity and be completely supportive.
Vanessa, this smells controlling to me and honestly that is not a good, solid base for any relationship.
You tell me you have been worked your tail off for the promotion, so didn’t he realize that. If your boyfriend hates his job but doesn’t want to move with you to Chicago, then that is his decision. You have to take this chance and try this new position to see if it is truly what you hoped for. When opportunity knocks you have to be prepared to answer. If you don’t take this chance and give everything you worked for a shot, someday you may regret it and regret him for not being supportive of your dream.
Vanessa, the time to make these decisions and go on these adventures is now when you are young and have no full blown responsibilities like a house and children, so give it a shot. Truth is you never know when another opportunity will come your way.
As for the boyfriend, he can come to visit you. Who knows he may end up changing his mind once your gone. You know the old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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