Dear one tough Muther,

I am the oldest child of three in my family.I am 30. I have a younger sister and younger brother that I am close with. I sometimes forget I also have a older half brother who is around 11/12 years older than me. He is from my fathers first marriage. He is married with three kids. I also have three kids and am married. We go years and years without speaking and it has always been that way up until the invention of facebook and unfortunately the death of my fathers wife two years ago. Now that I am older I have been putting forth more effort to stay in touch also. . Last night I got a hold of My sister in law- My half brothers wife just to ask about her job and see how everyone has been. She then responded tonight with an invite to their home to have the kids swim in their pool and to hangout with her. As excited and shocked as I was to receive that message I am also a little bit nervous and haven’t responded yet. It scares me, I’m afraid of not being good enough and possibly never being invited again or the relationship ending. My kids are good and I feel I’m a friendly person and when I have in the rare chance ran into my half brother and his wife we get along like i do my sister and brother, it’s very natural but yet I am scared, they are older and I always feel not good enough.I’ve dreamed( as silly as that sounds) of this happening and I will gladly accept the invite but I’m afraid I will not follow through with it, as much as I want to. Why in the hell am I so scared of this? Maybe I should just go over and maybe a close brother bond will build? Is it to late, I mean he’s in his 40’s and I am 30.

Dear Sammy,

You absolutely should go. Your brother (half-brother) and his wife are making the move to get to know you better.
It’s ok to be nervous and yes you can absolutely grow a family bond at any age but to not try would be a true regret.
Immediately banish that crazy thought that you’re not good enough? Good enough for what? What does good enough mean? This is something your are cooking up in your head, so please stop. Just take it this awesome invitation for what it is, open arms to welcome you not stress you out.

Sammy one of the worst regrets in the world, is the regret of not trying. Please go and try to relax. Enjoy this experience for what it is, a wonderful invite to get to know each other better and you’ll figure out where things will go from there.

Good Luck & Huge Muther Hugs

Be yourself, friendly and warm.

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