Hi OTM,

I Need your opinion. Your truthful opinion. Because I need to know if I’m right or wrong. Once inawhile I snoop through husbands texts. It may be wrong but I feel , #1 I don’t give a shit- we are married, deal with it I’m snooping your phone , whats his is mine and there should be no reason to hide a thing. His texts from the day to his friend involved personal information about issues and things going on with my parents which were making my mom look like a bad person. Things that didn’t need to be brought up. His last text read ” there are so many other storys I could tell you, but that’s another day”. Really? You have nothing better to talk about? Well I was pissed. I feel no one needs to know information like that or personal stuff going on in my parents life, especially since my husband friend has never met them. I think what pissed me off more was reading a text from the friend that had a personal event that happened with my parents which proved to me that this was not the first time. Get a life. My husband yelled at me that I shouldn’t be going through his phone like that. Go through mine I said. Am I wrong for going through my husbands phone. And am I wrong to be mad he was talking about my parents?

Dear Snoop,
Ugh, this is a dangerous situation.
You asked for my honesty and sweetie here it comes.
NO, it is not right for you to go snooping through your husband’s phone.
Since the invention of text and email more relationships have been damaged, destroyed or dissolved.
People don’t need to leave the house any longer to seek attention, it is all with a push of a few buttons.
You must realize that if your husband was having a personal conversation with his friend, you would have never known any of this was going on. However, by snooping through his phone you found out and you are rightfully upset.
Is it right for him to text personal, private family issues, I think not but since people use text and email in place of conversation I don’t see how can it be stopped.
Ask your husband to please not tell others about your personal family issues. Tell him that since others don’t know your family personally, they can’t make a fair assessment of the situation and shouldn’t be involved.
Then you resign yourself to STOP scrolling through his phone. Everyone needs privacy, even when you are married.
If you have to scroll through someone’s phone to find out what is happening or being said there is a definite communication and trust break down in your relationship. Snoop, I suggest you and your husband work on fixing your lack of communication immediately, communication or lack of it in any relationship is a very serious issue.

Good Luck

Hugs,

OTM

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