Dear One tough Muther,

What do you when someone keeps calling you a big girl? My husbands best friends wife is always saying how i’m a big girl. Yes I am thicker and very tall but I HATE how she will say stuff about it. She herself is not thin. Once my son was laying on me and she said to him, Us mommies with extra padding are better for cuddling. Then for Halloween they were having a party. I was figuring out what to wear as a costume she said I could be this costume because her cousin wore it last year and she is a big girl like me …oh and tall too..Like WTF , it’s like come on now, rude much. I know she is not saying it to be nasty but it’s rude non the less. She’ll call me big mama and so on. How do I tell this woman to cut it out?

Dear Amanda,

Some people over compensate for their uncomfortable feelings or self images by trying to reassure others, over and over. Maybe she is saying it because she is unhappy with her size and by saying it to you in a positive manner she is making herself feel better about her self image. She may have low self esteem and saying it affirms to her that there is no one size fits all woman in this world. You say she is your friend right? So maybe you can say something in a half-joking way the next time she spews her “Big Girl” comments to the point of, “Blah Blah, I am happy with my size. I have always been on the bigger side and I’m fine with it, but when you keep pointing it out like it is abnormal and I am a freak of nature. Please stop with the “Big Girl” comments.”
If you say it in a light-hearted manner she should catch on and banish the “Big Girl” banter.

Good luck and Huge Muther Hugs,

One Tough Muther

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